Life lessons
New book offers a parenting plan for today’s complex world
Natalia McPhedran was a stay-athome mom for six years and saw firsthand the joys and pitfalls of modern parenthood. Some of it wasn’t very pretty, especially trying to protect her children while navigating through the explosion of new technology, which she calls a “poison” in society.
“I gave my daughter an email account, I didn’t think it was a big deal,” said the 37-year-old Manotick-area mother of an 11-year-old girl and a nine year-old boy.
“A hacker got into one of her friend’s contact list and sent a mass email out to all of her friends. It said, ‘If you don’t pass this on to 15 friends, I’m going to come and kill you because I have a shotgun.’ It ended up being sent from some wacko and we had to make out a police report.”
The incident caused her to lay down some tough rules for her daughter about not emailing after 8 p.m. And those rules have been turned into a self-published book, Life With Kids: Empowering Our Children to Be Ready For The Real World ($12.99). The book also talks about surviving motherhood, building character and self-esteem in children, and the do’s and don’ts of responsibility and discipline.
“My daughter had to learn way too young that nobody was going to kill her if she didn’t pass the email on to 15 other people. That’s why parenting is so much harder today. We don’t even know how to predict what’s going to happen next, there are too many variables,” she says.
McPhedran is a sociology graduate from the University of Ottawa. She also has had training in life coaching from Erickson College, a Vancouver-based school. She received a diploma from the college three years ago and has provided life-coaching workshops to Canada Post, businesses and schools.
McPhedran says after the 2011 suicide of Kanata teen Jamie Hubley she created a workshop for schools called I’m So Worth It. “It wasn’t a bully-awareness program, it was using my coaching skills to inspire students and make them feel better about themselves. I don’t think bullying is going to stop, but if kids are mentally equipped to handle it, that would help.
“In writing the book, I wanted to share what I learned, what works and doesn’t work. Half of the book is funny stories so that I can create a connection with the moms. I want to get the message across that it’s OK that we’re not perfect and we’re not alone in going through the challenges. But I also wanted to introduce parenting as a coach in the book.”
McPhedran has also created a model called Let Go that attempts to create a parenting style that “empowers children and fosters autonomy and self-efficiency.”
It reads: ❚ Listen actively. ❚ Empathize to connect. ❚ Trust their abilities. ❚ Grow from failure (when they get upset, this is a cue that they are learning something). ❚ Offer support in trying new things.
“I called it Let Go because parents just want to be in control. At a certain point you have to let go and allow your kids to explore and make their own decision and build their confidence.”
McPhedran’s book will be available in Chapters and Amazon. For more information, check out nataliacoachingyou.