BIF NAKED BARES ALL IN MEMOIR
Canadian rock icon’s book expands on thoughts expressed through her songs
I, BIFICUS Bif Naked Harper Collins
Beth Torbert didn’t think her life was interesting enough to be the subject of a memoir. It took a long time for the artist known as Bif Naked to decide putting pen to paper was a good idea. At the insistence of her longtime manager Peter Karoll, who pestered the singer for well over a decade about writing a book, Torbert decided to gather her life stories for a volume, I, Bificus.
“I always thought, ‘It’s so cheesy. I’m too young. That’s silly. It’s not like I’ve had some Keith Richards life,’ ” Torbert, 44, says. “I kinda got it after the breast cancer. I was like, ‘OK, I didn’t croak.’ And then the divorce, the kidney failure.
“I used to think it was almost embarrassing, in a way, to write a memoir. I think everyone’s story is important. I didn’t want anyone to think that my story was so important. But through the process of having to specifically write stories (Torbert wrote a series of columns for the Globe and Mail at the turn of the decade), I discovered it wasn’t that I was embarrassed, it was a self-worth issue.”
In I, Bificus, a book that bears the same title as her third solo album, Torbert discusses her life path, from her parents and her childhood years, to her formative experiences as a young woman (she was a teen runaway who was saved from a dangerous situation in Toronto by a Good Samaritan cab driver, to whom she dedicated her first album), to life on the road as one of the few female rock band leaders in hard rock during the ’90s; her multiple loves and marriages and her adored pets; and her illnesses, including a life-changing battle with breast cancer and a heart surgery to close a hole in her heart after she was diagnosed with kidney failure.
Torbert, who lives in Vancouver, is no stranger to — pardon the pun — opening her heart and soul to strangers. As Bif Naked, her songs have long reflected her struggles and hardships, and the book expands on thoughts that were first expressed through verses and choruses.
“The book was just a further exploration to some of those stories,” she says of the memoir that coalesced in 2012, a pivotal year for the singer.
“I did a year of literary ‘dog-f--ing’ where I was so consumed — I had a sick dog and we were putting out an acoustic record and I was in court dealing with a divorce (to former sports writer Ian Walker, with whom she starred in a reality show about their marriage).
“I learned a lot (writing for the Globe and Mail), about working with editors and trying to clarify what I wanted to say. Writing lyrics is literary masturbating. You can be flowery. You can be abstract. You can be demonstrative. So it was a good education for me.”
Torbert admits the end product is much more condensed than her first outline for the book. She says her first draft was four times as long as the published book.
She covers plenty of territory over 288 pages, and her prose flows easily. There are a number of anecdotes that will make readers cringe, especially regarding the treatment of women in music, something Torbert says hasn’t changed in the age of the Kesha and Dr. Luke battle.
The book also contains more than enough moments to make you laugh. And there are incredibly touching stories, such as the ones involving her parents, who adopted her while on a mission in India, and her beloved pets, dogs Anastasia and Nick.
Her many sojourns in hospitals ( both for her own illnesses and her pets’), are particularly enlightening.
“Sometimes I think I missed my calling, because I really like hospitals,” she says. “I love the ins and outs of patient care. I like medical translation. I’d love to have done that as a career. Now I’m just too lazy. I don’t have time to go to school. And I already have access to patients. I’m living my dream life, basically.”
Free from cancer since 2009, Torbert says the biggest lesson she learned from writing about her experiences is that she’s “a cornball.”
“I think stuff is funny when other people don’t think it’s funny. So I did learn that my sense of humour is different from many people. I always knew I had a pretty wellrounded sense of humour and now it’s the top priority in my life.”
Her experiences have also taught her the benefits of gratitude.
“I think most people have the ability to be thankful every day, to feel lucky every day. But, you know, life is really crazy for people. It is. People have got it very hard. In many ways, you never really know what people are going through.”
And then, of course, there’s the music, which Torbert says is a passion that can never be extinguished.
“I started doing rock shows again last year (after several acoustic tours). It’s so much fun. I love acoustic shows and now I play with my partner (guitarist and fiancé Steve Allen), which is amazing. He’s so funny. I think I reignited a love for the loud shows last year.”
Torbert says a new Bif Naked “loud rock” album is now in the works.
Her wedding with Allen is scheduled for July 30.
“I identified a lot with Liz Taylor when I was a young woman, which is why I had little fluffy dogs. It wasn’t a Bettie Page thing that had me enjoy having raven hair, it was a Liz Taylor thing. She was married so many times, I thought it was very funny. So I never really had reservations about trying it again, and getting married again. I think finally I have met a person that is perfect for me and it’s really nice.”