Bridesmaid and best man’s affair leads to guest list dispute
Q I’m getting married in June; everything was going great until my best man hooked up with one of my fiancée’s bridesmaids. He was allegedly in a relationship with another woman.
At the time, he told the bridesmaid and me that he was no longer seeing that woman, but several days after their encounter, it came out in Facebook that he was still with her.
Now he wants to bring her to our wedding, but my fiancée fears it could cause an issue even though the bridesmaid has said she’s over him.
Should I be sticking with my fiancée, or should my best man be allowed to bring her? Groom in the Middle
A In a world where social media reveals all, this issue belongs to the bridesmaid and your best man. He fooled around, so if there are consequences they fall on him. You’re not the decisionmaker here. The bridesmaid is.
She’s the one who could feel used and humiliated — but she says she doesn’t. So your fiancée can be told, gently, that though it’s her wedding, she doesn’t have to manage guests’ interactions.
You chose him as your best man for reasons existing before this situation. He has a girlfriend, so he gets to bring her.
(Caveat: If your fiancée insists against this, she already didn’t like/respect him, and you may have to let her rule on her big day.)
Q I’m in my mid-20s and have never been involved sexually with a woman. My current three-year relationship is with a man. Recently, I’ve had a desire to start a family with a woman because it’s more “natural.”
Close friends and family are loving and accepting, so that isn’t a factor.
I’ve always found women attractive, but how do I proceed out of my homosexual relationship into a heterosexual one?
This isn’t influenced by any outside sources, other than my own desire to have a wife and kids “like everybody else.” How to Switch Sides
A You’re considering a much bigger change than you describe or even imagine — for the wrong reasons.
The desire to have a family is healthy and normal. But your desire to suddenly have a relationship with a woman “like everybody else,” is self-delusional.
You need to be true to yourself, to have a lasting union and raise children in a positive, authentic environment.
Marrying a woman s for a “family” life may work short-term, but inevitably you’ll be drawn to men, and you’ll be living a lie.
See a therapist and probe your own feelings, as a gay man, about what’s “natural.” You have loving, accepting family and friends. You need not feel you have to deny your basic self-identity in order to fulfil your desire to be a parent.