Pokémorons wreck a good thing by taking it behind the wheel
The headlines about the crashes started within hours of the game being released. Actually, it hadn’t even been released in Canada, but like anything that flies through the air, boundaries are a mere stutter to those with the technological savvy to find a way. And in the case of Pokémon Go, a new version of an old fad, this is precisely the desirable demographic.
First, a little origin of species. Pokémon was a video game first released in 1996. They quickly followed it up with collectibles, not unlike the baseball cards of yore. My sons are now 24 and 21, but Pokémon was a staple around our house, with piles of kids on the front step playing got ’em, got ’em, need ’em endlessly. Instead of a real-life pro team, the Pokémon cards had their backstory in a video game and cartoon.
Two decades later, Game Freak (owned by Nintendo), in conjunction with Niantic, has done the near-impossible: They’ve fired up the imaginations of those nowgrown original Pikachu chasers and set their sights on an even bigger demographic. I know what you’re thinking; morons, idiots, you gotta be kidding me. But think for a second. As soon as my son explained to me the new concept of Pokémon Go (the new, improved version) I started laughing and shaking my head in admiration. Setting: Nintendo Head Office, Conference Room for Important Meetings. Challenge: Introduce a new game with a built in base to help ensure success while we build a new target demographic. Problem: People are trying to get their kids away from their screens and off their butts. Kids don’t go outside anymore, haven’t you heard? Solution: How about a game based on a GPS that forces them to go outside to collect their valuable points? Result: Someone just got a promotion.
You need a phone, and you need a data plan or Wi-Fi on that phone. I’d say nearly all of those original Pokémoners have these two things. The characters they grew up with pop up on their phone, in their neighbourhood; all they have to do is go outside and walk around and catch them. It’s called augmented reality, which is just another name for the world we now raise our kids in. The game is calibrated to be played at a walking pace. The second day my son had it, he and his friend walked 24 kilometres. The next day, they walked 18. They met up with groups of other friends. Both boys have summer jobs; both attend school. I open my mouth to complain, but seriously, the kids are outside hanging out, getting some serious exercise and loving it. I shut my mouth.
But of course people had to go and wreck it because people are lazy. Within minutes of thousands and thousands of youth taking to their feet, others decided to take to their cars. You can catch all the things in a car, right?
Not really. Remember that “calibrated to a walking pace” thing? No problem. Drivers are driving at walking pace. Within hours they were causing collisions. A player down in New York crashed into a tree. There were no serious injuries, because this is the opposite of a high-speed collision. In Quebec, a Pokémoron (my name for those who Pokémon Go and drive) backed into a police cruiser. With cops in it. Oops.
Police around the world are warning against driving or cycling while playing. Because the target cartoons pop up on a phone screen, you have to move toward them. They can be in backyards, parks, kitchens, anywhere. But they move around and once you get it in your sites, you have to lob Pokéballs at it — essentially little pokebullets. Once captured, you move on. If you’re not already, you will soon see packs of people (all ages, not just teenagers) or lone warriors wandering around intensely chasing imaginary things. They will stop while they take aim. Then they will continue.
The idea of a game that pushes players outside and makes them walk around is brilliant. That it is about to be co-opted into something dangerous is inevitable. That’s too bad.