Dating tips — online and off

Q I’ve never been in a relationship (hard to believe, I know!).

It’s bothered me a lot. I have little confidence in myself when it comes to talking with the ladies.

I feel I’ve been deprived of the important “need” in life of being loved by someone.

I’d like some dating tips on how I can overcome this dilemma. Also, please recommend some good, safe dating site(s) so I can start off small and see if I’m successful. Eager to Start A Here are general tips: Start small in expectations. Know that dating experiences vary — a poor match isn’t your fault. Even when you like someone, it takes time to develop a relationship.

Practise for dating through your friendships with women, e.g. through work, shared interests, etc., where conversation becomes natural, without anxiety.

Tell new friends and old ones that you’re open to being set up for dates.

When you meet someone new, listen more than talk. Ask nonintrusive questions about her life, her work, her family.

Do not have a fixed checklist of what a potential date must be like.

Go slow. I don’t promote specific dating sites. But I believe that the free ones have too large a following (including players and scammers) for someone new to online dating.

Whatever site you join, read the profiles to learn what approach seems comfortable for you. When creating your own, be yourself. Say that you’re hoping eventually to build a relationship.

Don’t lie about your age, your finances, or use an old photo. When the truth’s revealed, it goes against you. Dear readers: I’ll publish a selection of your brief emails describing what’s worked for you in developing both dating smarts and personal confidence.