Run, don’t walk, from liar

Dear Readers: Some columns spark much more reaction than others, and so it is with a Feb. 28 question from a woman whose fiance had lied to her about his age and hid the fact he had a child, then claimed it wasn’t his: Reader #1: “I’d like to offer this writer a long-term perspective from my own personal experience.

“Like her, I fell deeply in love with a man who seemed wonderful in all ways. A year after we met, when I was well and truly hooked, he confessed to having four children, not two.

“When confronted, he offered all sorts of plausible excuses, all the while also telling me how much he loves me, how I’m the only woman for him, etc.

“Now I’m a single mother, and my biggest regret is that I didn’t take the early warning signs of a deeply dishonest and manipulative man much more seriously.

“My recommendation is, RUN, don’t walk, from this man. He’ll deceive you in so many ways, and will never stop, until you can take no more.”

Reader #2: “This woman needs to run, not walk, far, far away from this man and into a therapist’s office to find out why she seems so willing (and eager) to rationalize this man’s behaviour.

“Nothing about her letter suggests that this is, or will ever be, a healthy relationship.”

Reader #3: “At 26, I was engaged to a man whom I fell for very hard. The first lie I discovered was about his age. Not important, right?

“He led me to believe he was divorced, but I gradually found out that he wasn’t, and then that he’d lived with his wife and family until we moved in together.

“A few months later I met the man I eventually married, and we’re still together 46 years later. I hope the writer can find the strength do the same.”

Ellie: These voices of experience have been direct, and I hope the writer heeds them. Her youth and passion for him could misguide her, so readers’ personal accounts are important warnings.