How to best cope with a complicated breakup

Q A week after my friend and her boyfriend recently broke up, he asked her if she wanted to be friends with benefits. Because of her love for him, she agreed.

While they were dating, she’d told him she wasn’t comfortable with the idea of having sex. That’s one of the reasons he gave when he broke up with her.

Since they became friends with benefits he’s been pressuring her into actually having sex with him. This past weekend she finally decided she would.

Yesterday, he blocked her on Facebook and drove away when she tried to talk to him.

What can I say to help her? Confusing Breakup

A She needs to stay true to herself, and he knows it. She wasn’t ready for sex in their relationship, so he used the breakup as a different approach. She gave in.

She needs to think through why she’d be willing to have sex with him on those conditions, whereby he’d be free to date and have sex with others.

Tell her to re-examine her attitude toward sex. Does she intend to be a virgin till marriage or was she testing his commitment?

Then she can be very clear about her reasons, and together they can decide whether resuming a relationship is possible. ellie@thestar.ca