Giving up sex divides couple

Q My boyfriend of two years and I have a very happy, stable relationship. We’ve also had a very healthy sex life.

However, he recently admitted that he no longer feels comfortable having sex, as he’s returned to his Catholic faith and wants to stop completely until we’re married.

I’m 22. He knows I’m not planning to get married soon, and that I really enjoyed the sexual part of our relationship.

I don’t share his faith, and don’t completely understand his reasoning. We’ve already had sex countless times, so “waiting” doesn’t make sense to me.

I love him so I won’t leave him. But I’m worried this will strain our relationship.

I’m feeling less close to him. Is this my fault? What can I do? Frustrated Girlfriend

A You’re both frustrated, but he has an overriding commitment to being chaste and you don’t. If you truly love him and hope for a future together, you need to respect his religious beliefs.

There’s more to Catholicism than its doctrine regarding sex before marriage. Read, learn, talk to a priest, to gain a deeper understanding of the family values his religion stresses.

You may still not agree with it all, you may never convert, but there’s no point hanging onto a relationship that’s becoming uncomfortable and distant.

Especially since you already know there’s no chance of you marrying for several years in the future.

Love, with or without sex, is about going the distance to understand your partner’s belief system. It’ll affect many aspects of your life if you stay together — including how you deal with his family and religious occasions, how you plan to raise children, etc.

There’s a lot more that needs to be considered by both of you now that he’s returned to strong faith.