Healthy future isn’t possible with a woman who keeps playing both sides

I started dating my ex while she was separated. Our chemistry and connection were amazing.

Her husband was verbally and emotionally abusive. She also had a very rough childhood that included traumatic experiences and a dysfunctional family.

We quickly became very close. I was emotionally invested with her. Yet after a while, we broke up and she returned to her husband. We kept in contact via social media. I realized how much I loved her and felt she was my soulmate.

She reciprocated the same feeling, saying that she’d ask for a divorce. This affair lasted more than three years. I knew it was wrong but I hung in because of my feelings for her.

Recently, I started regretting that I was in a cheating affair. I expressed that, and asked if she felt this was wrong.

I said that I’ve been waiting for her to start her divorce and asked when she’d begin.

She said that she has low self-esteem and no self-worth because of her life experiences and social status.

I’ve changed my whole life for her and now she’s said that because her husband is ill, things are different between them and she isn’t considering divorce.

Now I regret that I lost the love of my life. I can’t believe she wouldn’t value the love we had enough to do the right thing. Distraught Ex-Lover

You see this story as a lost great love. I see it as this woman having played you far too long.

She may’ve once had the will to separate but then she returned to her abusive husband and stayed with him.

She opted for an illicit affair with you, and decided it’d never become anything more.

Some might say she was too scared to start over. That’s possible, but leading you on for three years was dishonest and emotionally cruel.

You proved your loyalty and sincerity. She only proved willingness to take advantage of your deep feelings.

It’s hard to accept now, but she did you a favour. There’s no healthy future with a person who keeps playing both sides.

Move on and don’t look back.