New wife asked to grin and bare it

Q I’m a young, attractive recent college graduate working a decent job who got married not long ago.

Previously, I’d lived with my parents. Moving in with my husband was the very first time I’ve shared accommodation with someone other than my immediate family.

Little did I know and came to learn after marriage that my hubby is a nudist.

He wears clothing on seldom occasions. He asserts that we all should be living in “our natural form” in presence of loved ones.

He wants me to be totally nude when I’m at home with him. He insists that I use the toilet and take a shower with the bathroom door fully open. He would also like me to be flatulent in his presence.

I’m not comfortable with any of his bizarre wishes. I’ve expressed my feelings.

He’s sympathetic and assures me that his requests are not “demands” but rather “acts of kindness.”

Is there any way I can work out a compromise? Naked Issues

A It takes two to compromise, and unfortunately you appear to be on your own.

You’re dealing with someone who thought it was OK to marry you without ever divulging his preference for nudity for both of you.

He’s now calling the shots and couching it all as philosophy.

He’s entitled to his beliefs and when there’s mutual consent, nudity and living “naturally” are personal choices in private life.

However, within your marriage, it’s a one-sided surprise approach without any compromises mentioned by him.

Unless he accepts that you can choose otherwise, and leaves off any pressure for you to change, this marriage won’t work.

Take a break away from him and his influence. Think through whether this is a marriage of equality and a relationship of mutual respect. Be sure of what you can accept, and what you cannot. ellie@thestar.ca