For your own safety, grab your shoes and run

Q I’ve been seeing this guy since January, but we’ve had a rocky relationship from the get-go. But everything’s really good when it’s good.

I love him to the ends of the earth, and he loves me too.

Last week we took some time off.

He’s been seeing this girl he says is just a friend. Whenever I’d bring it up as being otherwise, he’d get upset that I didn’t trust him or because I wouldn’t let it go.

This week we fought and it got physical. He’s never done that before. He broke down in tears, got on his knees, and begged me to forgive him.

Do I leave, or do I try and fix things?

How do I approach him with my concerns, without him getting upset? Black Eyes

A

Run. Nothing else is going to save you from this happening again. If you stay, he can hit you again. That’s the message you’ll be giving. He loves himself most. He can see another woman, he can lash out if you ask about it and he does whatever he wants.

A rocky relationship from the start doesn’t get better once your eyes are blackened.

His anger is about you making him unhappy, not about hurting you. You can’t even discuss “concerns” without him getting upset.

Make a safe and private plan to leave him. His fists already said everything about your future together.

If he threatens, stalks, or pursues you, inform the police. He’s abused you once and he will again. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday. ellie@thestar.ca @ellieadvice