I’m no fan of the The #MeToo movement

We aren’t delicate flowers so let’s not act that way, says Iris Winston

Count me out of the #MeToo movement.

It might be politically correct to support all the “courageous” women who have come forward with stories damning assorted male acquaintances for encounters that happened years ago. Some — perhaps even most — of the accounts may be accurate and may have affected the women’s present and their future. The rest could equally well be fiction or false memory, dredged up to remind the accusers that they, too, were attractive to the opposite sex.

Surely, truly courageous women would speak out at the time of an incident or, if too intimidated at that moment, at least be prepared to give their names as complainants now. And, if the alleged sexual assault warranted it, shouldn’t their courage and commitment extend to bringing charges or civil action and allowing the man in question the opportunity to face his accuser in court and defend himself ?

Were the delicate flowers who feel too fragile for such a course also ignorant of what might happen if they accepted an invitation to enter a man’s hotel room or bedroom when they were alone? Were they also foolish enough to impair their judgment by drinking heavily? If they were in show business, had they never heard of the casting couch? If they worked in office situations, had they never thought of avoiding private, closeted meetings?

On the other side of the coin, during the years that my husband was an educational administrator, he invariably kept his office door open when dealing with students, particularly during interviews with female teenagers who might have active imaginations.

In the current environment, all men would be wise to take precautions like these. It is too easy to be attacked and destroyed by revenge seekers, whether or not there is truth in their stories. And the interpretation of sexual assault has become so ridiculously broad that a guiding hand on the elbow could be interpreted as attack.

A kindly 80-year-old gentleman whom I know greets every woman with a smile, a compliment and a friendly squeeze of the shoulder. This is not assault. It is simply his way of expressing warmth.

This is not to deny true horrors, such as rape or sexual attacks on children. And, of course, there are other levels of predatory males; most females have encountered a selection of them along the way. But defence is possible.

I am not talking about karate or judo — although I encouraged my daughter and son to participate in both as youngsters. The simplest route is avoidance whenever possible.

For example, as a 16-yearold student, I worked in an office for the summer. During the first week, my boss was very helpful. By the second week, he was standing a little too close as he explained office procedures. As well as this red flag, the real danger signal was his offer to drive me home after work. I refused the offer and arranged for my father to pick me up from then on. You don’t knowingly walk into an obvious trap.

Some of the women who have joined the #MeToo chorus have said they were afraid they would lose a job, a part in a movie or some other perk if they didn’t go along with the expectation of sex as payment. Was the reward worth the loss of selfrespect? That is a question that only the individual can answer.

But it is one that I ask every time yet another woman comes forward to join the #MeToo movement.

Surely, truly courageous women would speak out at the time of an incident or, if too intimidated at that moment, at least be prepared to give their names as complainants now.