Friends with benefits — or more?

Q I’ve dated a man for two years, we’re both in our 20s. We’re monogamous, met each other’s friends and roommates, have some mutual friends. We’re between friends with benefits and boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m graduating university, he has another year. I’ve secured a job four hours away from our university. I’m unsure about having a long-distance relationship. Also, his pessimism, especially about finishing school late (his fault) and potentially poor job prospects, can really bring me down. However, I care for him as both friend and partner. We get along, share common interests, and enjoy each other’s company. ‘Girlfriend’ or FWB?

A It seems you haven’t had the confidence in your own feelings to open this conversation. But after two years, it’s time to have The Talk.

Honesty and kindness should rule. If it’s been a mutually respectful friends-with-benefits relationship, accept that fact.

A natural distance break is the best way to assess things. Discuss this openly.

Reader: Regarding the woman whose condition of interstitial cystitis has decreased marital sex, which is painful for her.

My wife was also diagnosed with interstitial cystitis. Please pass on the letter-writer that she needs to get to a naturopath immediately.

My wife had the same health issues and was taking $150 worth of pills each month to “control” the disease. After about 18 months, she went to find out the “cause” of the disease and stop it there.

After about six weeks of an elimination diet, she found out she had an intolerance to gluten, which aggravated the lining of her bladder.

She stopped gluten intake and everything went back to the way it was. No pills, no pain!

Now she enjoys life again, except for missing bread terribly. However, it’s a small price to pay for her freedom from pain and pills.