Seek resources for your fresh start

Q I’m returning home, after deep thinking about my life during two years of travel.

At 11, I was molested, along with my sister, by our mucholder brother. I want a fresh start but don’t know where to begin. I always have to see this low-life during every family get-together, and will be constantly reminded of these traumatic events. I don’t have much money left, or know where to find an affordable therapist or how to choose the right therapist for me.

A New Beginning A Start with research that informs you and builds confidence in how to handle this.

Search for ways to get low-cost therapy through agencies like the YWCA, a shelter for abused women, other women’s centres and websites for those who have been sexually assaulted. Call a Sexual Assault Hotline for resources — 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

Inquire about support groups and attend a meeting to ask how others have confronted their past sexual abuse, for example writing a record/journal of what happened and when. All this will help build your approach. I also suggest checking with your sister about whether she’ll join you in this.

Reader: Regarding the man, 66, who wants “more” with his female friend. If the girl had been asking for advice, you’d be right to ask her if she’s emotionally and psychologically prepared for this type of relationship.

And if she’s lacking selfesteem, is unrealistic or seeking love with an older man because of a lack of love growing up. You’d question whether he’s in a position of authority over her or has power, position or money that impresses her.

She should consider whether he really seeing her — or just her youth, vitality and sexual attractiveness?

She should ask herself what she wants from the relationship and how she sees it ending.

She should be warned that she could be hurt by societal reactions.

But it’s the man, 66, seeking advice. Your answer should be that no, he should not proceed.