Compromise key to solving family drama
Q My fiancé and I recently had a baby and live with his mother, who’s financially dependent on him to pay her mortgage and bills.
She’s a toxic, bitter lady, which my fiancé admits. I would like to move out, especially since having the baby. She always undermines me. I even caught her badmouthing me to the baby. That pushed my limits and now I resent her. I don’t want her around my baby.
She’s also overbearing — she snatches the baby from me and takes him into her room for hours.
Am I wrong for wanting to move out and limiting her time with the baby?
Upset New Mother
A What you feel isn’t wrong. But this situation calls for more than an angry revolt. You need respect from her. She deserves understanding for her precarious financial situation.
Her son must help her see that their arguments are harmful for all. Without issuing threats of non-support or ending her contact with the baby, you and your fiancé must try to find some decent solutions to offer her.
If you don’t all compromise, these relationships will all be badly affected.
Reader’s commentary: I was in my late 30s when I visited my husband’s eye care professionally. He always commented on how beautiful I looked. I took his compliments as nothing significant and thanked him. On a particular appointment, he put his hands down my blouse and felt my breasts.
I was so shocked. I stood there numb and just could not move. I said nothing.
However my eyes may have said something to him and he remarked, “I’m a doctor and was checking for lumps in your breasts.” I left his office in tears and never returned, not even filling my prescription.
I went home and told my husband. He had a good laugh and is still going to the idiotic doctor.
Ellie: For those who question the truth of #MeToo stories: This one highlights not only the audaciously inappropriate sexual touching of a patient by a doctor, but also her own insensitive husband’s acceptance of it as laughable.
Read Ellie Monday to Saturday. ellie@thestar.ca @ellieadvice