You need to work on relationship issues

Q My girlfriend of two years and I are raising a blended family. But we have different parenting styles.

We have bad times, arguing about my issues with our sex life or her ex, causing me to resent her. She and her ex had a common-law relationship over two periods totalling 15 years. He was angry about their breakup, kept the house and made her and their two small children leave. We moved into my home pretty quickly. Her ex said awful things to his children and sent inappropriate and threatening texts to my girlfriend.

Eventually, he calmed down. But I neither like him nor trust him. He’s a deadbeat dad.

Everything about him upsets me and when he comes up in conversation, she and I argue about him and she attacks me, while defending him.

We argue because she texts him often, wants her contact with him to continue long after her children move out, and remain friends with him. Blended and Confused A Your relationship’s at risk unless you two resolve what’s dividing you. Getting couples’ counselling is likely the only way for you both to recognize what you’re each contributing to the growing anger and moodiness.

She can allow her ex access to, and information about, their kids if he seeks it — but not if he continues with his “threats.”

But she also must set boundaries on personal contact with him and make you her priority.

Otherwise she’s blocking this relationship from becoming solid and secure.