Don’t let one bad relationship define you

QI’m a man, 33, with a good job/income and my own place, enjoying the single life.

I keep my profile on a couple of dating sites and have no trouble meeting women.

In my 20s, I had one five-year relationship, which became oppressive. My ex was always “correcting ” me, telling me what to wear, what to eat, what to say, etc. I left 18 months ago to save my sanity.

Now, I go out a lot, have great dates with attractive women who just want a good time.

I have as much sex as I want, without any hassles. I also have a few “friends with benefits” and we all know where we stand. My problem is my two sisters. They accuse me of “using ” women and refusing to “grow up.”

But I’m not making false promises to anyone or coercing anyone for sex.

My sisters say I’m wasting my life. What’s your take on their negative view of me? Happy-Go-Lucky

AYour sisters are worried about you and also worried about any women who may think they have a chance with you, beyond fun and sex. They naturally don’t like to think that you may be taking advantage of some women.

But let’s consider your own opinion. You had one relationship that soured, and you now want hassle-free company and sex.

You feel that you’re up front about it.

Well, if on dating sites and in person, you’re clear that you’re uninterested in anything beyond a good time including sex, that’s considered “fair disclosure” in adult dating circles.

Yet anyone past 20 — especially a man with two sisters — knows that women are, in general, likely to develop emotional attachments with men they date regularly.

If all that’s working, why feel discomfort with your sisters’ opinions? Or bother to seek mine? I suspect that your one sour relationship frightened you from ever allowing emotional feelings again.

I say, keep your mind and options open. Don’t let one bad experience define you or limit your life.