You can give him one last chance to win your trust

Q I’m 26, female, dating a man, 30, for two years.

Recently, I confided to him that I believe my longtime best friend may be gay. I’ve since learned that he’d told his coworker, who openly tried to tease me about it.

I was upset but forgave my boyfriend, who was truly sorry.

However, I later discovered he’d revealed family concerns deeply personal to me, to this same co-worker who sometimes joins our social group.

I’d shared these innermost aspects of who I am early on in our dating, including about significant insecurities I’ve had since childhood.

The co-worker’s response was to “casually” raise these subjects in taunting jokes, completely out of the blue.

I realize that it’s more of a problem with the co-worker than my boyfriend, however I feel betrayed and hurt by all of this.My boyfriend has apologized, saying he never intended anything to be misconstrued as malicious. I feel that he’s continuously given this other person the fuel to mock me behind my back, and it feels awful. Is this something to work through, or a deal-breaker? Betrayed?

A It’s not a good signal. Not in keeping with the intelligence you say he has and the kindness with which you credit him.

It’s up to him to prove himself now.

He must be clear with this coworker that he’s crossed a line of trust and friendship.

To keep his friendship and you, your boyfriend needs to act smarter and say less.

Your trust now depends on his accepting this, and you believing him. You want to, so will likely give him a chance. But only one.