Hear your wife out before calling it quits

Q I was on Cloud 9 when I met my then-girlfriend, who’s now my wife of several months. She’s witty, charming, attractive, funny, loving and affectionate. We had a dream life. Until her ex-best friend came into the picture. This woman claims that my wife had unpaid debts which she insists that I settle, though stemming from long before we met. My wife’s unaware that her ex-friend approached me to settle her debts. I refused, and told the woman that I wasn’t interested.

Then this “friend” dropped a bombshell on me, asserting that my wife had worked as an exotic dancer at adult establishments which later progressed to her offering intimate companionship services as an escort. I didn’t want to believe her, but after conducting some extensive sleuthing I learned that it’s all true.

Her ex-friend shared with me a sex tape that shows my wife engaging in intimacy with at least 10 men during one of her paid encounters. I’ve not yet raised this with my wife and am unsure how to do so. She was previously known by a different name, had lived in a different city, etc., none of which she shared with me. I’m seriously considering speaking to a lawyer and even contemplating divorce. Please advise.

Duped and Deceived

A Some readers may doubt the authenticity of your letter, due to its almost Hollywood-like dramatic storyline. However, I receive enough tales of far more outlandish situations and relationships that I will take this one at your word. Two major red flags in this story: 1) The informant is no ex-“friend,” but rather a nasty, jealous, conniving person who tried to shake you down for money. If she persists, have a lawyer deal with her claims; 2) You adored your wife and loved your life with her, yet you rush to consider divorce before even talking to her about her past. She deserves a hearing.