Gossip hurting mother of the bride

Q My only child is getting married this year. My divorce eight years ago was not acrimonious, but my ex’s family cut me off.

Only a couple of years ago, I learned that my former in-laws alluded to mutual friends that I caused the failed marriage due to infidelity with multiple partners. I was shocked and deeply hurt as my daughter heard and spoke to me about it.

Equally hurtful is that my ex did nothing to dissuade these rumours, fully knowing they weren’t true and hurt our daughter.

Now I’ve learned that those who badmouthed me have been invited, and that my ex is hosting a large Jack and Jill party but I’ve been deliberately excluded. I’m trying to hold my head up.

My daughter’s more concerned with appeasing her father as his health isn’t great.

This is making me dread my only child’s wedding. How do I handle this? Excluded Mother

A Continue to hold your head high. You and your daughter both know the gossip is false and mean-spirited, saying more about those who spread it and about those who won’t deny it.

Meanwhile, celebrate and enjoy the coming nuptials in your own style.

Consider hosting a small lunch or other affordable gathering for your own relatives and close friends as a pre-wedding event. If you can, include your son-inlaw’s parents and siblings, too.

If there’s a bridal shower, hopefully you’re included. If not, create one with the bride’s girlfriends.

At the wedding itself, mingle with people you like and hopefully, dance!

Reader: Regarding the woman, 25, whose boyfriend’s addicted to cannabis and hasn’t been able to quit. Marijuana Anonymous is based on the same 12 steps as Alcoholics Anonymous.

He has to want to stop, but perhaps doesn’t know about this great fellowship. It helped me. If there are no meetings where they live, there are online meetings.

Ellie:Here’s the information from one typical group: Marijuana Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem and help others to recover from marijuana addiction. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using marijuana. There are no dues or fees for membership. We are self-supporting through our own contributions. MA is not affiliated with any religious or secular institution or organization and has no opinion on any outside controversies or causes.