Admitting guilt only first step

QI’ve just been accused of sexually abusing my sister-inlaw 40 years ago.

I don’t deny any of her allegations and there’s no hope that I could ever have any kind of relationship with her ever again.

I’ve torn apart our family and don’t believe that things will ever be repaired.

I don’t know whether she’ll go to the police, but if she does I’ll suffer whatever consequences that brings.

I can truthfully say that I have never done this to any other woman. I need help to discover why I did this.

I’m hoping you can point me in the direction of some kind of programming.

I’m not looking to be excused or forgiven for my behaviour, I just want help.

AThere are several crucial steps needed here, and since you’ve been vague about your response to your sister-in-law, first and foremost was admitting guilt, which you’ve done here and must do to her.

That means a full apology and remorse.

She needs and deserves that.

She may or may not report you to the police, but you should go and admit your guilt to them. They will advise you to get a lawyer if she asks them to charge you.

Counselling ’s essential for your own self-understanding but also to make amends to other people you may’ve hurt by that abuse — for example those in your and her family who were affected by her experience of sexual abuse.

Search online for a registered therapist or psychologist experienced with sexual deviance, being clear that you’ve been the abuser.

There may also be court service programs for admitted/guilty offenders.