RAMSAMMY’S EX-WIFE SAYS LIFE WITH AN ADDICT WAS EXHAUSTING,

Joshua Ramsammy’s wife, Sherry, lived through the chaos and trauma of her husband’s opioid addiction for seven years. She reflected on that experience in an email exchange.

Q What do you want to tell people about your own journey? A The thing I would say is to try to be patient and don’t try to do this all alone. There’s a lot of societal pressure to have a perfect home and family and, sometimes, we would rather have everything look good than get help.

I decided to get help for myself, starting with counselling. Living like this was mentally draining and exhausting. During the group sessions, I started having a deeper understanding of my situation. I realized that this problem was bigger than myself.

I also decided to take a university course in social work. It helped me see Joshua as a patient who is suffering the condition of addiction rather than someone who is just causing pain and trouble and destruction.

Q What was it like being the wife of an addict?

A It seems like nothing you say can really stop a person from addiction. It is really up to them.

At first I was afraid of what people would think of our life, but now I see addiction everywhere. We are an addicted society. Whether it’s food, drugs, sex, alcohol, we fill the void with whatever we can find comfort in to avoid dealing with what’s inside.

My advice for people is to not suppress past hurts or avoid talking about traumatic events; reach out for help; seek guidance and work on your spirituality. We get so caught up in events that it becomes hard to stay grounded and grateful.

I am a stronger woman and mother because of all of that has happened. I do everything now with appreciation for life because it could have been so much worse.