Maybe this couple deserves one another

Q My wife is accusing me of cheating on her. How can I tell if she is cheating on me? Back At Her

A I read distrust, game-playing, blaming, anger, even competing at who’s more unfaithful! Your marriage is clearly in shambles. If there’s any hope for it, this counter-attack isn’t the right path. Instead, be honest — at least with yourself: Are you cheating? And if so, why? Once you can truthfully answer those questions, you have a start toward a conversation. But before you even try to talk to her, first ask yourself if you really think she’s cheating, or you’re just trying to get some dirt on her to deflect from yours. If that’s the case, forget it.

And if you’re both cheating, it would seem you deserve each other.

However, if the two of you have no clue how to handle a relationship when anything gets tough and you’re both willing to get counselling, go together for help. Ask to learn how to deal with each other during times of stress, doubts, confusion, financial difficulties, workplace pressure, etc.

Those realities can periodically set in motion distancing behaviour which leads to suspicions and nasty accusations.

When that happens, pursuing your opening question above, instead of working together to fix things, will destroy any hope for the marriage. It won’t matter who cheated or if you both did.