Cellphone leads to silent world

Q My cellphone is an albatross. Email is useful, as is texting for specific purposes and necessarily-immediate feedback. But neither replaces the comfort and nuanced efficiency of conversation.

— Caught in a Silent World

A Follow your instincts and find other ways to bring conversations into your life.

Arrange to see friends in person whenever possible (you’ll sometimes have to text to set a place and time).

Try shopping locally — one can develop interesting conversations with merchants, especially those who’ve come from elsewhere and love to share stories of their history and culture.

Look into joining a walking group, which offers plenty of time for good chats.

Q I wrote previously regarding my father’s disinterest in working after years of alcoholism/ financial insolvency. I’ve tried what you advised — reviewing his resume, suggesting jobs, and supporting his mental health counselling. Nothing stuck with him. He recently said he’d never work again and he’d live off little money until “the end.” How can we move forward in our relationship?

— Frustrated Adult Child

A You can still be supportive by visiting, and being there for him if anything goes seriously wrong. But you need to support yourself through this, too.

Al-Anon is a proven supportive organization reached online, by phone, or through meetings locally, across the globe.

Its website states: “Al-Anon members are people, just like you, who are worried about someone with a drinking problem.”

You’ll learn more about why your father lives as he does, and, in a support group, you’ll discover how other relatives, friends, and loved ones handle situations similar to what you’re facing.

Read Ellie Monday to Saturday. Send relationship questions to ellie@thestar.ca.

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