Support helps in tough times
Q I was in my 30s, a single mother of a seven-year-old son, when I was recommended to meet a similar-age widower with a son, 5, and daughter, 9 months.
After we bought a house he was violent to me and my son, who was removed from us by the authorities. My son was returned and my now-ex was violent again, so my son went to to his birth father.
I moved out, and another woman moved in with him. He broke into my apartment and took all my good things. I didn’t call police because I feared for my life. I hired a lawyer and after six years, I got a fraction of what the house had been worth. My sister reported that my ex bought a suburban house and a workshop from the house money, then lost much of it.
Now, after 23 years, someone keeps contacting me and harassing me, asking where he is. I don’t know and wish I’d never met him.
Meantime, I got cancer and suffered a heart attack.
I’ve called private investigators and they don’t work with these kinds of cases. The police can’t help me. I joined women’s activist groups.
What can I do to stop these haters who are harassing me?
Harassed and Stressed
A You’ve faced some extreme pressures over the years, and they’ve taken a toll on your health. Fortunately, you’ve had the strength of mind to know when to leave, cut your losses, find work and accommodation, get medical attention and seek support from various sources.
Though your finances are limited, your lawyer may be able, for a minimal fee, to send a warning letter to whomever you suspect is harassing you, IF the source can be traced.
Readers of this column may know of investigative methods to recommend. Staying connected to your sister and any other close people, and being involved with the women’s groups are all supports that can help you.
But in the meanwhile, if you cannot find the source and ignore all communication (unless it is threatening), the harassment may cease.
BUT, if threats are clear or implied, return to the police to check out anyone you suspect. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday