Ottawa Citizen

Friendship with ‘blood brother’ bred in the bone

City nurse still close with marrow donor 14 years after life-saving transplant

- JOANNE LAUCIUS

Sue Vanvolking­burgh met the man who saved her life for the first time, more than a year after he did the saving.

This was in September 2005 in front of hundreds of people at a gala in at the Canadian War Museum in Ottawa.

“It was literally the three-minute hug,” recalls Chris Smith, the man who donated his bone marrow to a woman he had never met.

Now, 14 years later, the pair still consider themselves “blood siblings.”

They meet as often as possible. Their families have reunited for trips to baseball games, amusement parks and Vanvolking­burgh’s 50th birthday party.

Because Smith’s marrow now produces her blood cells, Vanvolking­burgh now has Smith’s blood type.

“I call him my blood brother,” said Vanvolking­burgh, a CHEO nurse who will turn 56 this week. “I have his DNA in my blood. I’m a bit of a hybrid.”

Just last week, Smith, now 61 and retired from a job as a Canada Post supervisor, reunited with Vanvolking­burgh in Ottawa for a hockey game, touristy activities around Parliament Hill and a golf tournament for the Bruce Denniston Bone Marrow Society, a charity that raises money to promote donor matches and is named after an RCMP member who was diagnosed with leukemia in 1987.

In 2003, Vanvolking­burgh was diagnosed with aplastic anemia, a blood disorder that occurs when the body stops producing enough new blood cells. The only option was a bone marrow transplant. She needed a sibling match or an anonymous donor. Doctors found her match on the donor registry.

Unknown to Vanvolking­burgh, her match had a story of his own. Smith, who lived in Barrie, had a niece who had been diagnosed with a form of leukemia. There were nine siblings in his family and they all signed up for the bone marrow registry. His niece was successful­ly treated without a transplant, but Smith thought there might be other people who might need his bone marrow.

In 2004, Smith received the call to ask if he was still interested in donating. “I did what I had to (do) to give that person an opportunit­y,” he said.

By the time Vanvolking­burgh was a candidate for transplant, she was transfusio­n-dependent. To prepare for the transplant, she was given high doses of chemothera­py and underwent full-body radiation. After the transplant, there was nothing to do but watch and wait in isolation. She was in hospital for 21/2 months.

At first, Vanvolking­burgh was told the donation would remain anonymous. Then she received a card through One Match (now Canadian Blood Services Stem Cell Registry) with all the identifyin­g informatio­n blacked out. On the card, her donor said his family was praying for her.

“I felt humbled and overwhelme­d,” she says now.

In 2005, Smith and Vanvolking­burgh both received a neutrally phrased letter saying they could exchange informatio­n if they wanted. They agreed, and One Match sent them mailing addresses.

Vanvolking­burgh said she struggled over what to tell her donor. “You say, ‘Thank you,’ to the grocery clerk. I was having problems with even how to begin to say, ‘Thank you.’ ”

Later that year, Smith and Vanvolking­burgh were asked if they were willing to meet for the first time. It happened at a gala at the Canadian War Museum in September in front of an audience that included members from the clinical team that treated Vanvolking­burgh.

Since 2016, Canadian Blood Services has had 410 requests for donors and recipients to exchange informatio­n, but had only 275 completed requests with contact informatio­n provided to both donor and recipient.

It’s impossible to say how many donor recipient pairs have actually made contact, said Heidi Elmoazzen, director for stem cells at Canadian Blood Services. Because registries are internatio­nal, it may be difficult for many people to meet face-to-face, she said. The Canadian registry’s policy is to wait a year after a transplant to accept requests. It may be longer for other registries, and some don’t allow that informatio­n to be exchanged.

For Vanvolking­burgh and Smith, meeting was the start of a friendship between two families. Both have three children and three grandchild­ren. They share sorrows and joys. Everyone in both families has registered for bone marrow donation.

“No one of us knows what tragedy will strike a family member,” Smith said.

You say, ‘Thank you,’ to the grocery clerk. I was having problems with even how to begin to say, ‘Thank you’

 ??  ?? Chris Smith donated bone marrow to Sue Vanvolking­burgh in 2004. They first met in 2005 and have been good friends ever since.
Chris Smith donated bone marrow to Sue Vanvolking­burgh in 2004. They first met in 2005 and have been good friends ever since.

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