There’s no shame in seeking therapy for sexual urges

Q

I’m a male in my 30s and have been grappling with an issue of sexual desire for a couple of years now.

In my 20s, I had an active sex life with multiple partners. Some were hookups and others were with women with whom I was in relationships.

I’m currently in what I believe is a strong relationship. We connect very well emotionally and have a healthy sex life. We also live together and enjoy each other’s company. I’m genuinely happy.

However, I often have sexual urges about other women when I’m not with her. I’ve never acted on these urges nor even come close through flirting with friends or colleagues, but the desires are strong and distracting.

Some days I wish the thoughts would just fade away so I can continue to pursue a long-term relationship which is what I want in my future. I considered sex addition counselling but wasn’t sure if these were just fleeting thoughts that would eventually go away, or if I have an actual condition.

A

Why even hesitate about getting needed counselling? There’s no shame in it, especially since you can honestly tell your partner that you want to clear your mind of your past sexual lifestyle as part of your sincere commitment to her.

Through counselling, you’ll learn whether you really do have a sexual addiction condition that calls for behaviour modification therapy. It’s about self-respect as much as self-control, and respect for your partner. It’s about controlling other excess urges as well.

Take the needed steps to learn more about yourself, and become better able to handle the mature and respectful long-term future you want with your partner.

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