Stop bullies in their tracks

Q When my 11-yearold daughter cried and begged to miss school, I learned that her close friend is being bullied by three of their classmates.

My daughter saw them surround her friend at recess. One pulled off her hair band, another tossed it into the dirt, while the third one mussed her hair.

My daughter said she ran inside to the bathroom, terrified.

Her friend dresses “girlie,” wearing skirts and shoes with sparkles, etc. The “bullies” wear jeans and boots. My daughter fears that they’ll target her next.

I said she should tell the principal, and the bullies won’t know who reported them. Since I didn’t see any bullying, I didn’t think my reporting would be effective.

Bully Girls

A Bullying must be addressed by the adults within the entire school community.

Parents, teachers, education administrators, and police have a duty to keep kids safe from bullies in school and outside it.

You should report it to the school principal to start the record, and contact the parents’ association seeking a meeting within days.

Even a few incidents matter, because when a bully gets away with it, her or his power increases.

Send a report, including all the bully incidents discussed at the parents’ meeting, to your school district’s director of education. Insist on their taking action now, not later. If you don’t leap into action to protect your child, who else will?

Reader: Regarding the mother who read her daughter’s texts. I disagree with your advice to the mother. The mother should tell the daughter she was snooping and the reason for it, which was a pretty good reason.

I’d rather have my daughter blow up at me then not do something about such a serious issue.

Ellie: I agree that the mother had to approach her daughter about the knowledge that the teenager, 17, had sex “with a random boy” who’d choked her and pulled her hair during intercourse.

But I still maintain that she didn’t have to start the conversation by admitting she snooped the girl’s phone. That’s a surefire excuse for her daughter to shut down, storm out and get into even worse situations. The situation called for sensitivity whereby the teenager might eventually tell her mother what happened or better understand that she must set boundaries regarding her own physical safety. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday

Send relationship questions to ellie@thestar.ca

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