Ottawa Citizen

Crude come-on is insulting

- ELLIE TESHER Advice

QRecently, I attended a social gathering of women friends (mostly age 40) who’d kept in touch since early college days.

Many of us live in different cities from the chosen venue, so the party became an excuse for those with partners to have a weekend away together.

But I was taken aback when one of the husbands I’d never met came on to me.

He came right over, stood too close, made suggestive comments, compliment­ed my figure, then suggested that we “slip away” for a while.

I’m not a prude, I enjoy casual flirtatiou­s banter with men I know and trust. But this man was a stranger to me, though his wife and I have exchanged emails for years, along with photos of our kids, etc.

I felt sick for her that he’d so easily show himself to be a player, with someone his wife knows.

And that he felt that he could do this when she’s in the same room.

I walked away toward my husband and the buffet lineup. Even after that, the man managed to stand beside me during some impromptu speeches.

My husband, whom I’d alerted, thought the guy had too much to drink. We left earlier than I’d normally want. What else should I have done? Should I consider hinting something to his wife?

Her Husband’s Come-On

AThere’s no excuse for this guy’s crude come-on. With his wife and her friends present, it was insulting to her and you!

Even if you said, “Back off,” he likely would’ve ignored you.

His behaviour sounds very practised, alcoholic-induced or not.

In your next contact with his wife, you could ask her, generally, how things are going. She may not open up … or she may question why you’re asking.

Repeat your husband’s observatio­n about his drinking.

It may lead to her taking a closer look at her husband’s “party” manners.

Read Ellie Monday to Saturday Send relationsh­ip questions to ellie@thestar.ca

Follow @ellieadvic­e

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