Be cautious, not anxious, about virus

QSadly, there’ll be times soon when a family member unknowingly brings the coronavirus into a household, causing his/her own parents, siblings or other relatives to fall gravely ill or even die.

How can families/individuals cope with the crushing blame and guilt they’ll feel when that happens? How does a family recover from such an intimate tragedy?

Facing Reality

AThere are strong, clear instructions, constantly repeated, that everyone must count on because it’s all we have until there’s a cure and vaccine.

Each of us living in a household must wash out hands when we enter the home, change our clothes from what we wore outside among other people, wash food we bring in and wipe any packaging before removing it. It means you’re doing everything you can that’s within your control.

Under normal circumstances, without COVID -19 in our midst, you’d still have no control over sudden accidents or death that happens to a loved one.

Instead of worrying over worstcase possibilities, learn what’s needed in realistic scenarios.

If you have someone within your home who shows symptoms of the virus, isolate them in a separate room, and wear rubber gloves to handle anything related to them.

Don’t deplete your energies with worry. There are websites for counselling information about anxieties, and dealing with grief.

Maintain your physical energy and positive outlook the best you can, so anxiety doesn’t drag you down.

Be proactive. If someone else within the household is behaving nonchalantly about the instructions above, show them a list of what can happen — not only to the weakest person there, but to themselves, too.

QI’m 21. A year ago my first love and I broke up after two years. He’d tried to control me.

But I missed him these past eight months.

I’ve been talking to a new guy. He’s so understanding and chill. A month ago he asked me out and I was unsure because he’d be new to everything about love.

I also wasn’t over my ex.

Then, at a bar with friends, I saw him and almost fainted.

His best friend told me my ex still misses me. Later, he texted me. He asked me for a lunch date to catch up. I felt it’d be the closure I needed.

At lunch we talked and joked. I ended up at his house and we hooked up and hung out like old times. He admitted to being too controlling but he’s realized he now could trust me.

We’ve been talking now for more than a month. I said “no” to the other guy. My friends hate my ex. They won’t accept that he’s changed.

Do I pick my ex for whom I have love and passion? Or the guy who treated me like a princess, though we don’t have the same connection I had with my ex?

Hard Choice

AFirst love, especially so young, can be so all-consuming of thought and emotions that a breakup feels like your heart will literally break.

Then, often, a new person comes along. At 21, you think you must choose. One, who emotionally abused you with controls and distrust; another, for whom you don’t have strong feelings.

Love yourself more, and don’t settle for others’ needs.

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