For some, it’s isolation, for introverts, it’s solitude

Helen Vance explains how an introvert copes

I am an introvert, an empath and I suffer from anxiety. None of this is new; it has been a part of me for as long as I remember, in varying degrees. As an introvert, I am observant and withdrawn, though I am not anti-social. I am more comfortable in small groups, in quiet settings and probably feel safest alone in my car.

It seems to be all about control — controlling where I go, what I do, who I do it with. Most things outside of that can cause that bastard anxiety to start bubbling in my veins, making me clench my jaw, my heart pounding in my ears. On the outside, I look as cool as a cucumber. That, in itself, takes a heap of control.

If you don’t get this, I understand. Perhaps this upside-down world that COVID-19 has inflicted on us will help you and I understand each other better.

Here’s an observation for those who are not introverts — who look forward to group events, concerts, parties and all the things that make me jumpy. We have switched places. Feels uncomfortable doesn’t it? And I am, to some degree, in yours, because I feel more comfortable.

I am spending my days at home peacefully, reading, going for walks trying to avoid being overloaded with COVID-19 posts, political addresses, newscasts and articles. My anxiety is the lowest it has been in years; in actuality, it is pretty well in remission.

I am feeling in control for once in my life. Are you surprised? I am sure most would believe that those with anxiety would be feeling more anxious. I am a bit surprised myself. I am not going stir crazy. I feel for those of you who are.

While I am happy that I am feeling this way, it saddens me that my more extroverted counterparts are now experiencing the opposite of how they normally feel. I am pretty sure many of you are feeling like your lives are out of control, out of YOUR control. Your panic is rising while mine is subsiding. I feel like I am in a safe cocoon, while others feel like they are in jail.

I do hope that at the end of all of this, we will all be more humble, tolerant and understanding of each other.

Many whom I know, family members included, are in a frenzy of reading and posting every tidbit they come across. Some cannot sleep, others are self-medicating with alcohol, food or their favourite vice. Perhaps this is their solace.

Is there an icing on this cake? While COVID-19 is nasty, rampant, terrifying, debilitating and a killer, I do hold hope that at the end of all of this, we will all be more humble, tolerant and understanding of each other. This is flattening the curve in more ways that one.

We can now empathize with each other.

Have compassion for those with mental health issues, anxiety, depression. This is something we have no control over. We feel helpless. As you may be feeling at this moment. We are all on the same playing field now.

Have compassion for those less fortunate than yourself, those with lower and perhaps no income, those with little or no savings to rely on through no fault of their own.

When this isolation has ended, hopefully with a slow return to “normal,” of course, there will be a new story for all of us. We introverts and those with mental illness and anxiety will have to get back out into the war zone. It took a lot on a daily basis for us to fit in as best we could and operate in a primarily loud, fast world. Please give us our berth. Please don’t judge.

Meanwhile, during the pandemic, please, please respect the rules. Don’t visit your neighbour, your children, your friends. If we all want to stay safe and healthy, stay the hell home.

And if you want to talk, call me.