True love always finds a way
Reader: You recently published a letter from a woman on the cusp of 40 who asked, in essence, how does she continue dating men she meets online when there is social distancing.
I think my story will inspire her to look for a mate in a more authentic way.
I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 25 years before I divorced in my early 50s. I thought that so long as I had my books, wine and family around, I was good.
My book club friends, however, insisted that I was wrong. They compelled me to join a dating app with a matching process.
I signed up under a false name and with strict restrictions on who I might look at and maybe chat with online.
I thought someone to go to movies and to restaurants with would be nice, but I didn’t want any “complications” involving love.
I had seven dates with six different very nice men. But no connection.
Then, bored, I decided to chat with a guy that the dating site kept saying fits my criteria except he lived 5,000 kilometres away on a Caribbean island.
He looked like an ordinary guy his age but his resumé was interesting, so I figured we could be pen pals.
Within two weeks, we were regularly chatting and when I trusted him with my identity, we emailed. We were connecting and having a great time getting to know each other.
He shared his struggles with his 27-year marriage before he divorced some years prior, and I opened up about my experience. Then he went radio silent.
Of course, I thought, “Well, there you go, all men are jerks!”
Three days later, he contacted me from a resort on the island which had been hit by a hurricane and all power was out. He knew the resort had a generator and contacted me from there. First thing he said was he was worried I’d think he’d lost interest. Wow! We met physically three months after meeting online. We married 18 months later. I was 57.
We’ve lived in bliss for almost eight years since and still wake up in the morning smiling at each other.
I hope your other writer sees this and takes heart.
Forget the physical aspects of meeting a man. I was in love with my husband before we physically met.
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