Healthy relationship is up to grown son

Q My son, estranged from family for six years, has had psychological problems since childhood. He sued his elderly, handicapped grandparents twice ( both cases were dismissed, but he's appealing). Since their deaths, I'm now being sued as the estate's executor. He's already cost us more than $100,000 in legal fees.

He has a lot of anger/resentment/hatred — mainly toward me. I have not seen my grandsons for six years.

Recently he emailed that if l want to communicate, he'll go to a therapist of my choice.

He saw a psychiatrist for many years, and I attended weekly with him for more than a year. All for naught.

I feel sorry for him and want to help him.

Need A Special Psychologist

A This sad estrangement story began in your son's childhood and related to family dynamics as he saw them.

A professional psychotherapist experienced with family dysfunction/estrangement will have the skills and advice you're seeking ... that's the hope in seeking help.

Certainly, ongoing legal battles are a barrier. If there could be a monetary solution to what he's seeking, without impoverishing others in the wills, he might drop his lawsuit. Will that bring him back into a relationship with you? Unknown. But, as a mother, your best chance is to ask mental health professionals for recommendations for the appropriate therapist.

Then attend sessions with an open mind. The rest is up to your son.