Mom setting good example for daughters

Q I came to this country in my late 20s, after obtaining an honours degree overseas.

Accepted into a master's course here, I studied and also worked in the evenings, assisting several professors.

The hardest part of my growing hard-earned acceptance was suffering the nasty gossip of other women. Some were junior staffers and other assistants within the university, while two were the wives of professors with whom I worked. Gossip among the juniors invented that I gave “favours” to my professors. Later, rumours persisted that I was sleeping with two different men for whom I worked (all lies). When I achieved my own professional business based on my degree and faculty honours, I dissociated from those earlier connections and built my current good reputation. But

I'll never forget that it was the women who were so quick to misjudge, denigrate and spread ugly misinformation about me.

These were my so-called “sisters” in a field where even better-qualified women still had to prove they were as good as the men.

I could've taken legal and/or human-rights recourse at some point, but I chose to just prove everyone wrong. Today, I'm successful, happily married, the mother of two smart teenage girls. I believe that accomplishing my dreams was a better choice than wasting my energy on anger or revenge.

Will your female readers agree with me?

I Did It My Way

A Congratulations for rising above gossips and nasty detractors. Maybe they've learned to stop judging others ... though it's not always likely among the envious and mean-spirited.

Meanwhile, your daughters are in a generation of young women who see your example and appreciate the possibilities of advancing their own goals.

A workplace manager may confront lying/backstabbing co-workers if the worker reveals a paper trail of evidence.

Or, a worker can seek help from the human resources department and/or legal investigation of any defaming statements about someone.

Note: It's not only “sisters” who show jealousy in nasty ways. I've learned from readers that backbiting, envy and lies intended to detract from legitimate accomplishments are also directed by some men at others striving to get ahead.

Q Should I cut my only daughter from my will so her partner won't use it on himself?

She's 30 and left home at 16 against my wishes. Her partner abuses her physically and mentally. He sleeps with more than one woman in the same household.

I've been cut off from their two children, described as the “bad grandpa.”

She returned to school just to get out of the house. He's never worked legally. The kids are always dirty and lice riddled.

They were once placed in my protection by children's services due to “lifestyle choices.”

He'll take her money as he controls the finances but can't afford a phone for her or clothes for the kids.

Worried Grandfather

A She needs your financial help now. Meet her at school to discuss financial needs for her and the children. Buy her a phone and a usage plan so she can gain some independence. Stay connected by helping when you can.