The heartache of the pandemic
Dear Readers: The growing area of acute heartbreak occurring today in increasingly crossing all age lines as it keeps adult children from their parents. It also keeps young children and teens from contact with their grandparents.
Do not say, “that isn't going to happen in my life,” without reading on. As I've written before, the current issue of alienated grandparents affects three generations and spreads discontent, distrust and despair in countless relationships that were initially intended to be a family's support system.
Following is just some of the mail I receive on the topic of family alienation:
Reader 1: We're going through this right now and have tried to get some resolution with some success. However, we offered third-party family counselling without success.
Ellie: Counselling is essential. If the estranged relatives aren't interested, get it for yourself. If young children are feeling hurt, confused, angry and/or show other insecurities, get them professional help to discuss their issues.
Reader 2: When grandparents and grandchildren are at two ends of the spectrum, once the door closes, it leaves a sour taste in all mouths and there can be no return. My daughter died last July and to even begin to discuss the reasons why my family alienated me is beyond discussion. When all the conversation is related to who gets what when I pass on, that tells its own story. At an advanced age, to have the door closed in your face is a sadness beyond words, but I'm not alone. That gives us the strength to keep on going to the end of our days.
Reader 3: Perhaps in some cases there's a strong possibility of domestic abuse. In a recent column, the husband may be abusing the wife. Cutting out his wife's support system — the grandparents and her extended family
— is a control/isolation tactic to further the abuse.
This may be what is occurring and really should be looked into. The wife and children may be in danger. The reaction is too extreme, abrupt and lengthy for this not to be seriously considered. Please pass my perspective along to the people who wrote you.