Adult son trying to do right thing

Q My son, 38, lived with a cold and difficult “girlfriend” for years because her son, age three when my son moved in, loved and needed him. They're still in contact.

The next woman he cohabited with had “been around.” They'd only dated a few months when she got pregnant with twins. He stayed until she went back to substance abuse, but has joint custody of their children.

I love them but I worry about where my son's poor judgment will lead. What can I do?

Worried Grandmother

A Stay close to the children as they'll need your steadfast involvement, caring and comfort.

Don't criticize your son. He's a good man, loyal to the boy who needed him and responsible for his children who need you both to be watchful for their health and safety due to their mother's addiction.

Q My brother's uncomfortable socially unless he's at a corporate event where it's widely known that he's extremely successful.

He's been driven since youth and can now afford most affluent symbols — large home, several cars, expensive clothes, etc.

Our father pushed us from early school days. I resisted. Now I see my brother, mid-40s, never satisfied.

I'm different. I've done well on a smaller scale. I'm happy with that and the people in my life, while my brother's divorcing his second wife. How can I help him?

Caring Bro

A Spend casual, relaxed time together. Invite him home with your family in a less-driven, still-rewarding lifestyle.

Ask when he'll feel fully satisfied with what he's achieved. He may not answer, but he may privately think about it.

Also, if you feel he can handle it, ask if he's ever wondered if your father's “pushing success” was for his sons, or for himself.