Obituaries, epitaphs and Osoyoos

There has been a plethora of celebrity deaths in recent days as well as deaths close to home.

I always loved the small tombstone behind St. Andrew’s church that reads, Sleeping Underneath the Okanagan Moon.

Emily Carr’s epitaph reads, Artist, Author, Lover of Nature.

Anonymous reads, I Can’t Believe I Ate All That Kale.

Seniors are advised to compile a ‘death book’ that contains their final wishes and a list of those to be contacted when the event occurs. We are told to write our own eulogy, obituaries and epitaphs.

I like “Here lies good old Fred, a great big rock fell on his head .R.I.P.” In my case, an epitaph might read, “All her great genes were recessive.”

I love the quote from Woody Allen: “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I don’t want to be there when it happens.”

Seniors love the sports page, the current events and world news bylines, but it is the obituaries we turn to first. I promise myself I won’t, but I always go to the obits right after I see the weather report. Who died and how many grandchildren survive? Also great grandchildren, aunts, uncles and extended family and friends. This is irresistible information. But more importantly, who will speak for us and what will they say?

A quote from Jerry Seinfeld goes, “According to most studies, people’s No. 1 fear is public speaking. No. 2 is death. Does that sound right?

This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Far better to express your affection, your admiration to someone you love while you are both still alive. In Sterling Haynes’ book, Where Does It Hurt Now, he writes with both affection and admiration to describe his sister’s life and her accomplishments. Shirl was physically strong, an accomplished equestrian and a tournament winning pingpong player. Shirl was tops intellectually and academically. She completed a medical education and practised for 60 years while raising seven kids.

Sterling completes his writing regarding his sister with “Her life was lived, with no remorse and by her code of ethics: compassion, love, honesty and fair play. I miss her.”

What a moving tribute from one family member to another.

I treasure the cards my own brother has sent over the years telling me how wonderful I am. Honestly, I need to hear those words now in my dotage more than ever before in my life.

I am often reminded how important encouragement is at any age. I know my heart swells when I am complimented on my appearance or my humble artistic expressions. Encouragement inspires me to make the effort to add one more layer of exotic clothing or write one more brilliant essay. (Just kidding, but you get my drift.)

To digress, we are just back from a weekend in Osoyoos, where every possible parking spot is filled with a car from Manitoba or Saskatchewan. To find a space in the hot tub, you have to duke it out with hearty seniors from the prairies who have sold the RV or time-share and now make Osoyoos the final destination on their winter flights.

Osoyoos has a population of 4,845 and all the charm of a small town. You can Christmas shop at the local Home Hardware store and dining opportunities abound. We love JoJo’s Cafe for a breakfast sandwich and a look at local art. Baked goods from old family recipes are take-out. For dinner, Campo Marina on Main Street has been voted the most popular restaurant in the South Okanagan and that says it all. You will feel like you are in Italy; order anything with veal.

We enjoy any South Okanagan wine, but I found the Orofino Vineyards Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot tastes like a blend that had been really watered down. It had no body, no black cherry note that I could discern. I will order the proven Covert Farms 2013 Merlot next time.

The lifestyle for snowbirds in Osoyoos is active. You can play tennis, drop-in at the Sonora Centre to play basketball, floor hockey or pickle ball. The Sonora Community centre offers a well-equipped gym and weight room. Mike gets his exercise walking Coco through the sage and rolling hills surrounding the town and I am happy to sit in the passenger seat and ride up to the lookout at Anarchists Mountain to see the view (No. 4 of 42 Things To Do In Osoyoos).

In a few minutes, you can visit the viewpoint at 4,000 feet and the frozen lake in its winter setting is breathtaking. You can see Osoyoos lake from top to bottom, the Interior Plateau and the Coast Mountains.

I don’t hike the way I once did, but sitting around, I have discovered a renewed interest in birdwatching, so I took my binoculars along to watch for the Gray Jay, recently named Canada’s national bird. The Common Loon got the most votes, the Snowy Owl was second. But experts point out the Whiskey Jack, as it is better known, lives coast to coast and stays for winter. Obviously, the bird is truly Canadian: smart, friendly and loves hockey. So much for death and dying. Next weekend is soon enough to sit down and write out a Death Book, an obituary, an epitaph.

If it’s not too late, better to spend the time planning a trip to Mexico. We will need a hotel, a flight and new flip flops for the pool. Every senior I know is already there.