Impact of differing parenting styles
Dear Ms. Barber: I am writing to you on behalf of many parents. We all want to know if our actions and discipline of our children will impact their development and personalities later in life? I see so many parents allowing their children to behave in many negative ways without any consequences and worry that I am too controlling. Could you explain the positive and negative styles of parenting and any research you have on the effects these styles may have on our children. — Concerned about Parenting Styles
Dear Concerned: Through my Early Childhood training, experiences and research of this topic for my ECE College students and my parenting book, I have found that researchers have uncovered convincing links between parenting styles and the effects they have on children.
There are many ideas about how to raise children. Some parents adopt the ideas their own parents used. Others get advice from friends. Some read books about parenting. Others take classes and workshops offered in their community.
No one has all the answers. I have learned which parenting practices are most effective and are more likely to lead to positive outcomes for children and have practiced them with my own son over his childhood and with many other children in my care.
Psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted a study on more than 100 preschool-age children and identified four important dimensions of parenting: • Disciplinary strategies • Warmth and nurturance • Communication styles • Expectations of maturity and control Based on these dimensions, Baumrind and others suggested that the majority of parents display one of four different parenting styles. The Four Parenting Styles are: 1. Authoritarian: In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment.
Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, “Because I said so.” These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children.
According to Baumrind, these parents “are obedience-and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation”.
2. Authoritative: Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are warmly responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions and they offer more choices.
When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing and nurture with loving support.
Baumrind suggests that these parents “monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive.
They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative”.
3. Permissive: These parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and selfcontrol.
According to Baumrind, permissive parents “are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behaviour, allow considerable selfregulation, and avoid confrontation”. Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.
4. Uninvolved: This parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child’s basic needs, they are generally detached from their child’s life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.
Impact of Parenting Styles: In addition to Baumrind’s initial study of 100 preschool children, researchers have conducted other studies than have led to a number of conclusions about the impact of parenting styles on children.
Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem. Authoritative parenting styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable, confident and successful. These children are also high in self-regulation and self-esteem.
Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.
Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack selfcontrol, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers. They do not have a healthy attachment with their parents and have the most negative outcomes socially and emotionally.
I highly recommend any of Barbara Coloroso’s books. In my favourite, “Kids are worth it!”, Barbara introduces different imagery from the Four Styles to help parents relate to each one. Authoritarian becomes “Brick-wall”, “Indulgent” or “Permissive” turns into “Jellyfish” and “Authoritative” is called “Backbone”. Good luck on your journey through Parenthood. “Dear Ms. Barber” is written by author and advice columnist, Brenda Fisher-Barber, Early Learning Expert with 35 years working with children of all ages and specializing in the early years. Brenda has been a Preschool Teacher, Early Childhood Education College Coordinator/Instructor, StrongStart BC Facilitator and Professional Development/Workshop Presenter.