Following your bliss is hard; but if not now, when?

I loved LaLa Land and that Hollywood myth about dreams and singing and dancing and going over the rainbow.

That theme reminds me of the ’80s and Joseph Campbell’s Follow Your Bliss teachings regarding personal transformation. I think a lot of seniors bought into the idea that happiness is finding where our bliss is and pursing it unafraid.

I think a lot of seniors found that following our bliss is a very hard concept to develop and settled for a life of 9 to 5 and put our dreams on the back burner to raise a family and support our spouse.

Now in old age we find we still have an interest in pursuing our dreams, and with time on our hands and a few dollars in the bank we can finally go about getting up and doing those things that bring us bliss. As the sage would say: “If not now, when?”

In my case, I have determined to put my notes together and come up with a stand-up comic routine that will rock the senior community — and even rock larger circles as well.

Truth is, I have dreamed about standing alone on a stage (only prop might be a baby grand piano with me in the curve) in the spotlight and holding the audience in the palm of my hand. I would need a great new all-white outfit that flowed around me when I moved and a great bit of senior humour to entertain my young, adoring fans.

I would open my monologue with a brief introduction, then proceed to describe an earlier experience that brought a young man to me after the performance who told me he liked my work and, once I got started, he thought I was really good. I went right home and practised speaking faster and presenting my ideas more quickly. Point is: faith, hope and love are good, but encouragement is the most important gift of all. Let’s do more with encouragement.

The big question for seniors is: “Is there sex in heaven?” I promise I will answer this later in my appearance, as I know everyone wants to know if seniors and sex still exist.

One thing we all have in common is the surprise we experience during the aging process.

Remember when you were a kid and you couldn’t wait to turn 10 or 15 or even the drinking age (whatever that was?) Suddenly you are choosing a mate, a career path and you are 30. In your 40s you think about suicide because nothing has worked out as you planned, and now you are 60 and fully aware of how brief youth is.

We are old a long time, and told retirement today is a span of 30 years.

This is discouraging because at 70 we are tired all the time, we have no energy and every recovery period takes months longer.

Being a senior represents loss in every aspect of life, beginning with the body changes that prompt hair loss. Funny, now we have hair on our chins and hair growing out our noses and ears. Three eyelashes remain, and they are all on my right eyelid. My eyebrows looks like someone has slashed them with a razor blade. My breasts are falling at different rates and only one leg has any hair remaining.

The skin is the big throwaway in old age. Mine looks and feels like parchment, and I would give anything for just one product that I could apply at bedtime and wake with teenage skin. (Young entrepreneurs take note of this fact.)

You will eventually lose your driver’s licence. Mario Andretti has lost his and that’s a good thing. He ran his entire last race with his left blinker on.

You have lost your youth, your dreams have not come true and your health reserves have been depleted. What remains is your place in society, which is gone since you retired early and your place in the family is lost as the kids have, hopefully, moved out.

The National Sex Institute has just released a guide for people our age and it will cheer you up.

It reports that 50 per cent are remembering sex, 20 per cent are dreaming about sex, 15 per cent are talking about it, 10 per cent are thinking about it and just five per cent are doing it.

Old girls now perform as backwards strippers . . . the audience pays them to put their clothes back on.

So life is a laugh and death is a joke. All seniors really want is a huge closet and a garage. We could store our out-of-season clothes and a new sports car all under one roof with a comfy chair and a good reading light. We could eat junk food and drink Cokes all day and no one would be the wiser, or permitted to do a survey at government expense.

One thing I have gained at the end of my years is a new understanding and compassion for the elderly. No wonder we are often cranky and self-absorbed.

Because I am short of breath, I am mad all the time. My new friends in the Parkinson Society inspire me with their strong spirits and the ability to express strong emotions and support in the areas we need encouragement the most, like getting up in the morning and getting dressed for the day.

In the end faith, hope, love and encouragement will prevail. Old age is neither easy nor golden, but it’s what we have to work with and for the aging process, I am truly grateful.

Remember when we were kids and we put salt in the sugar bowl on April Fool’s Day? Happy April 1st, Happy Every Day.

Jeanette Dunagan is an Okanagan artist who has lived in Kelowna for more than 40 years. Her column appears every second week in the Okanagan Saturday. Email: jd2399@telus.net.