Seniors wonder: is there sex in heaven?

The element of surprise is common to all seniors. Remember how surprised you were to be 40, 60, or even 80 years of age?

I can tell you from experience, old age is not a battle, it is a massacre.

Seniors spend their days with doctor’s appointments, prescription pick-ups and treatments of all sorts in an ongoing attempt at keeping body and soul together.

We learn this is a full time job.

Body changes start to proclaim the aging process. First, the hair goes, most noticeable in men, but a huge problem for women, as well.

We try to cut, style and colour our hair in a desperate attempt to hide the scalp that is showing. We need a “green room” every morning to make our appearance acceptable. Skin care now includes laser treatments, new products to moisturize, Botox, tissue fillers and enhancements for every feature.

I require a massage, manicures for my nails, and pedicures for my feet on a regular basis to simply get up and dressed. Depending on the weather, I choose from a collection of hats, coats, gloves and boots that protect my frail frame from any condition.

Dressing for climate changes requires a lot of preparation and thought, which is a challenge since it is my brain that is foggy.

Our closets are filled with clothes that no longer fit or are in style. Our bodies have either shrunk or expanded to include organs that are falling due to gravity. It is maddening to see your abdomen falling not only down but out.

We know we must exercise daily even though our bones and joints are arthritic. We grieve the loss of energy that was once boundless in our youth; we are tired all the time. We struggle to find our place in this fast-paced society.

We pray our kids will return our calls.

To maintain our homes and gardens. we require a team of skilled craftsmen to fix the plumbing, install more light fixtures and help us rake the leaves.

Pets are another big item. When we brought a puppy home, my friends warned me I was too old. They predicted the dog would outlive me, it would be a huge commitment and reminded me I love to travel and would be constrained with an animal to provide for when we are away.

Of course, my friends were right, but I have the gift of a priceless companion. CoCo is now two and the perfect poodle. She has to be walked, groomed and boarded when we are away.

Now, I know about doggie daycare and am happy to support the local industry. I have found a woman who grooms cats, so Merlin Redux has less fur for me to contend with.

Recovery time from medical and surgical procedures now takes months and one begins to sympathize with seniors who become cranky and self-absorbed. The aging process explains of lot of ill-tempered behaviour. In my case, COPD causes shortness of breath and an increased sense of anxiety.

I had not anticipated my dotage to be spent angry and frustrated. But so it is; we learn to make the best of the time we have left, and concentrate on our blessings, like successful cataract surgery.

The loss of hope is a huge consideration in old age. Our teeth are gone, the knees and hips have been replaced and it is easy to feel discouraged at the loss of family members and friends.

I take a lot of consolation in quips like “life is a laugh and death is a joke.”

We can still dream: in sleep, I am often back in the park I played in as a child. So the golden years are neither golden nor easy, but seniors know the best way to help one another is through encouragement.

I find that true for young people as well. When a grandchild is suffering, we have no solutions, only love and reassurance.

Actually, the big question for seniors is, is there sex in heaven?

Jeanette Dunagan has lived in Kelowna for more than 40 years. Email her at jd2399@telus.net.