Common name makes for uncommon mix-up

Editor’s note: Please welcome another new Herald guest columnist, Joan Barnes, who will be reflecting on the lighter side of aging.

There was a day in November when it was confirmed that old age had set in. A friend advised I look into buying an electric mattress cover because they are quite luxurious.

My 87-year old neighbor, Don Graham, complains about aches and pains so I suggested we go to The Bay to have a look at them.

He wasn’t interested, but said he’d accompany me after his doctor’s appointment at Superstore the following day.

At Superstore I shopped while he proceeded to the appointment. I finished, went through the cash with my cart and headed to the doctor’s office.

As I attempted to open the glass doors and push my cart through, one of the two nurses at the entrance desk waved her hands frantically and said, “You can’t bring that thing in here.” As I backed out I told her I needed a key. “What key?” she asked. “A car key,” I replied. “Who has the key? she asked. “Don Barnes,” I said. “We don’t have a Don Barnes here,” she answered.

I stood there feeling feverish and warm, as if I was coming down with something (like maybe Alzheimer’s.) Then a light went on and I confessed. “I mean Don Graham. I’m getting my husbands mixed up,” I said.

Snickering followed from the nurses and waiting room patients. She returned a moment later, grinning, handed me the keys and said, “A very nice man has given you his car keys.”

Groceries in the car, cart returned, I re-entered the store, determined to avoid that waiting room.

As Don walked toward me, smiling, I said, “I guess you heard what happened.”

“I know what happened from my end,” he told me. “The nurse came in and said your wife needs the car keys. While handing them to her I said, laughing, ‘That’s funny, my wife passed away about 10 years ago.’”

Just to add to the confusion of the day, when I got home and after I’d spent most of the afternoon putting the mattress cover on the bed, I opened my emails.

I found a message from Sara, my long-time friend from Ontario. A short note saying, “Our Don Graham passed away recently. That 86th year seems to catch our whole family.”

With the confusion of the day, my first thought was that it was the ex-Don.

But then I realized he’s not part of her family, so I re-read the email. Oh, yes, Sara had a brother-in-law named Don Graham.

The electric mattress cover was a wise investment.

As I got into bed the warmth enveloped me and I was able to quickly escape the confusing day into a well-deserved sleep.