More #MeToo stories
More stories from those who have suffered through abusive torment, threats, stalking, and sexual assault, and were disbelieved or shamed into silence.
#METOO: At age 10, I was raped by a male relative for 14 days. I was sent to “spend time” with him, his wife, and their young child because they were “trusted relatives.”
At 64, I remain haunted by that 14day trauma. Through therapy, I’ve made some strides but am still haunted by his threats if I told anyone.
I know he can’t hurt me now, but emotionally I remain scarred. I wonder, “What if I tell the story and no one believes me?”
I still don’t drive, although I have my licence, because my rape took place in the rapist’s car each evening, as he purported to take me out for ice cream. I’m fearful in a car to this day.
I’ve read the types of punishment given to people like my terrorist, and have been forced into even deeper silence because the justice system treated victims intolerably and gives wrist-slaps to offenders with minute sentences as we, their victims, live in life-long prisons.
#MeToo: More than 30 years ago, I had two young children when I separated from my husband. Not long afterwards, my sister’s husband began coming onto me with suggestive comments about my hips.
I told my sister. My brother-inlaw’s comments immediately ceased. A year later, she stated that she and her husband understood that I’d been “under stress” implying that I had misunderstood.
Finding that she’d decided not to believe me, I was too shocked to respond.
Some years later, I learned from one of his former employees that he’d sexually assaulted a number of them, grabbing and kissing them so they had to fight him off.
The women continued working for him as they had bills to pay and needed to feed their families. This predator has never been out-ed, other than to some family and close friends of mine.
#METOO: I was nine-years-old. We went to a summer party on a friend’s farm with many people. Someone decided the girls should dance with the men.
I got picked by a big burly man who already had drunk a lot. He danced me off into the bushes and pushed me to the ground. He put his hands all over me. I was shocked and paralyzed with fear.
Then I saw my father running over. He jumped on the guy and started to punch him till he ran away.
It caused a big commotion and we left for home immediately. I was very upset, crying, and shaking.
When we got home my mother demanded to know what I’d done to lead this man on. She slapped me across the face, called me a tramp and a slut.
I’m 68 and I remember every detail. It was never mentioned again. I’ve had to live with the shame of it ever since.î†
#METOO: My younger sister and I were 15 and 13. My parents hosted a New Year’s Eve party for many of our neighbours.
At midnight, during hugs and kisses, the husband of one of the guests grabbed me, kissed me, and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I was shocked, but never told my parents.
Many years later I found out he had done the same thing to my little sister that night.
I’m 82 now. There’s nothing new about sexual harassment.
#METOO: My high-school science teacher would stare down my shirt or straddle the chair in front of my desk and stare into my eyes.
When I showed discomfort, he’d say he did nothing, he wasn’t hurting me.
Once, when wearing a white bra under a loose-knit shirt, he placed me at the front of the class, turned off the lights, and used a UV light to see my white bra.
I felt violated, ashamed. My mom said to report it. I talked to the vice principal (the principal was away). He did nothing.
When I told my drama teacher, she said the vice-principal was sexually harassing her, too.î
#MeToo: From age 18 until mid20s, I trained to be a chef in many kitchens where I was the only female. I was groped, hugged, threatened and verbally/sexually assaulted and harassed almost daily. I thought I had to accept it to work in a male-dominated industry. I’m still mad at myself.
FEEDBACK: Regarding the woman worrying about her new boyfriend constantly checking up on her:
Reader: It’s only common courtesy to let your loved one know if you’re going to be late coming home or have other plans.
Why would that be considered a dangerous situation if she isn’t home for hours, and he has no idea where she is? Why can’t she just text him saying she’s going to be late because of work or some shopping to do? Does she enjoy making him worry? Why hasn’t he met her friends? He lives with her.
Ellie: I’d agree with your skepticism if she hadn’t just met him only one month ago.
Also, they’re 40 and 42, presumably mature adults, and she’s questioning his behaviour. I had to assume she was truly worried, especially when her best friend considered these red flags. TIP OF THE DAY To those who have said of such stories that these women are only after paybacks, you’re still the problem. It’s time for solutions.
Email ellie@thestar.ca