No Canadian idiots are featured in this story

There are 6.7 billion people in the world. I don’t know how many of those are nice people, how many are terrible, how many are smart or even how many are not.

But I do know some of them are idiots. Let me introduce you to a few:

First, a guy who is obviously afraid of his wife. She wanted to travel to Los Angeles to see the taping of her favourite television show.

Hubby forgot to order the tickets, but answered “yes” when she asked him if he had.

That meant he’d have to buy them from a scalper. He left his wife in the hotel room and went off in search of tickets. He was unable to get any, so he scraped his hand on the sidewalk, bashed himself in the head with a brick, called the cops and told them he’d been mugged, and that the tickets were stolen.

A male flight attendant decided to join a father and son game in mid-flight. The game was peek-a-boo, but the attendant thought they were playing hideand-seek, so he put the little guy in the overhead bin and closed the lid, which scared the kid and got the flight attendant fired.

Some marriage proposals gone bad: Lefto Sturgess stuffed a $12,000 diamond ring into a helium balloon, handed it to his girlfriend and watched as it floated away. They chased it but never caught it.

New Yorker Dave Walling proposed on the pedestrian walkway of the Brooklyn Bridge and dropped the ring. He then climbed down the bridge tower to look for it and triggered a suicide alert.

Barry Llewellyn arranged with the Phoenix Suns basketball team to catch his marriage proposal on the JumboTron. But, his girlfriend Barbara wasn’t paying attention, because she interrupted his speech and asked him to scratch her back. Proposing? Do it at home.

And a couple of stupid robbers: In Louisiana, a man walked into a Circle K, laid a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the cashier opened the register, he pulled a gun, demanded all the cash in the drawer and fled, leaving the $20 bill. His take? 15 bucks.

And, in Ann Arbor, Mich.,, a guy flashed a gun at a Burger King employee and demanded cash. The kid said he couldn’t open the till without an order, so the robber ordered onion rings. The kid then said they weren’t available for breakfast. The frustrated gunman ran away.

Notice, no Canadians in this story.

Fred Trainor is a retired broadcaster living in Okanagan Falls.