Name contest ends with a yawn

No apologies necessary if you were seriously underwhelmed by the seven short-listed names announced Tuesday for the City of Penticton’s room in the new patient care tower at Penticton Regional Hospital.

Contenders like the Orchard Room, Skaha Room, Quail Quay, Meadowlark Room, Sun-Oka Serenity and Peach Blossom Room don’t exactly inspire awe. The other finalist, Ogopogo Room, certainly does, but it’s so cliché, just like the rest of them.

They all sound like the names of bedand-breakfasts on the Naramata Bench or Airbnb suites – and probably are.

But in defence of the city councillors and staff who picked the seven, they didn’t have a lot to work with, although there were a few clever suggestions among the 90 that were submitted by the public.

At the top of the list were two entries

apparently in the Syilx language: K?kip i??sn.q??utn (The bed is soft). Qmant anmrímstn (Take your medicine). Sneaky.

Then were a few that were cheeky: Between Two Lakes and Mountains (Duh). Peach City VIP Lounge (Check your worries at the door). Pent-house Suite (Classy). City Chambers (All business). AWEHAW Room (LOL). Ephemeral Room. (Here for a good time, not a long time). Impatiens Room (Smells nice).

Two suggestions contained the name of the tower’s title sponsor: Kampe Cares and Kampe-E-Lite.

And there were a whole pile that mentioned local notables – both alive and dead – such as Ivan McLelland, Ken Patton, Shane Koyczan, Grace Greyeyes, Kaylee Kozari-Bowland, Nick Bevanda and Hancock-Wilson (in honour of the first female staffers at PRH).

It probably says something that none of the 90 suggestions recognized politicians – past or present. And, surprisingly for a hockey town, there was no mention of the Vees.

Neither was there any of the Hospital McHospitalface nonsense one can expect these days in any public naming contest, nor any shots at our neighbours up the road, like Kelowna Sucks or Vanilla Vernon.

There was, however, one dynamite submission that somehow got past the gatekeepers and would be utterly appropriate for a city that prides itself on its residents answering the call of duty and rolling up their sleeves whenever needed for triathlons, festivals, park protests, council meetings or whatever.

That submission is: In honour of the Volunteer.

No, it doesn’t play on the tired themes of nature and fruit, but it does speak to the one of the city’s finest assets. And that’s why the short list is incomplete without it.

To vote for your favourite among the seven that did make the short list, visit www.shapeyourcitypenticton.ca.

Joe Fries is the city editor of the Penticton Herald