When we’re dancing with disillusionment

Iam an optimist by nature. I tend to believe most challenges can be overcome; assume most problems are solvable; and even dare to predict the Oilers will win Lord Stanley’s Cup before too many more years pass.

Add to that natural disposition the fact that I am also a person of faith who believes God is not only good but faithful and you pretty much capture my world view.

With that insight it comes as little surprise that I am struggling with the preponderance of devastating news that has confronted us recently. Heartbreaking tragedies spanning our country from Humboldt to Toronto leave us speechless. How many more bouquets of flowers or candles can we place, how many more moments of silence can we observe before tragedy becomes normal?

Add to the national scale tragedies those which occur on a daily basis but don’t make headlines and the accumulation is a surfeit of devastation. Then sprinkle on top the painful discovery that people we look up to aren’t perfect and one is forced to wonder where to turn, who to trust and how to cope with the reality of 2018?

It might seem unusual to read this in a faith column written by a pastor but I understand fully the words of the Chaplain of the Humboldt Broncos who said in his experience at the crash scene, “It made me wonder where God was.”

How does one dance with disillusionment without being trampled to death?

I don’t claim any earth shattering solutions but I have stumbled onto some discoveries which have helped me in the dance.

First, I hold the deep conviction that no matter how dark the devastation in this broken world it is always better to dance with God than without Him. I might question God and even vent my anger toward Him but I never want to face times like these without Him. The God of the Bible is not portrayed as a fair-weather God but as a God who is well-acquainted with grief and suffering. I might not understand Him but He does understand me.

Second, as dark as some days can be, there are always glimmers of sunshine and hope if I just have the eyes to see them. It might be a hero cop in Toronto or a doctor in Saskatoon or a courageous bystander in a Waffle House restaurant but there are always rays of sunshine.

Part of my dance is to manage the filters through which I see reality.

My third discovery is an expansion of the second. In recent weeks I found myself increasingly becoming a bad news junkie.

First thing in the morning and last thing at night, I’d be scrolling the internet for more and more bad news stories. The constant barrage of dark information began to take its toll. I have discovered I need balance. I only need to know so much of the details of the hurt, pain and evil in our world. Then I need to ensure I balance it with a positive inflow of blessing and goodness.

I can’t control what happens but I can control the balance of the flow of information into my life.

Finally, I have made the rediscovery that life is precious in part because it is fragile. I dare not take any of my relationships for granted. I dare not end conversations with harsh words or unexpressed love. Life is too fragile and too precious to take that chance.

I am honest enough to admit I am dancing with disillusionment these days. I am also humble enough to admit it’s a dance I dare not undertake alone. I’m grateful to God and my many loved ones who faithfully hold me during this dance.

Tim Schroeder is pastor at Trinity Baptist Church in Kelowna. This column appears weekly in Okanagan Weekend.