Americans ruining our language

It’s bad enough the Americans have killed the Canadian language; now, they’re chipping away at the thing we Canadians hold closest to our hearts — hockey.

I have for some time railed privately about the American view of Canada’s game, but now I feel compelled to let off a little steam publicly.

Actually, I’m taking specific aim at the American hockey television play-by-play and colour announcers.

Many Americans living in U.S. Northern states have been hockey fans as long as we have, so we don;t count them here. (After all, four of the Original Six NHL teams were American, even though almost all their players were Canadians).

You will recall when Fox carried NHL games, they came up with a laser beam, so the Americans could follow the puck. That was the start of it. Thank God that didn’t last long.

How many U.S. television (non-Canadian) hockey phrases can you think of? How about these:

“The neutral zone.” Even the best Canadian announcers now call it that.

“The locker room.” Geez, I have never seen a locker room in an ice rink. They’re called dressing rooms.

“Hockey jersey.” No. Hockey sweater!

You’ll hear them call wrist shots “wristers”, slap shots “slappers.” How about “luscious pass” and the one I hate the most, “the half wall.” They’re called “boards”

Now that I’m warmed up, let’s turn to baseball. Canada has one baseball team. You would think, among 35 million people they could find two Canadian announcers. While I give Buck Martinez and Pat Tabler full points for their knowledge of the game, I hate having to listen to Buck’s midwestern accent and Pat parroting everything Buck says. See if you recognize any of these jewels, spoken in every game, by Buck Martinez:

“Chew and chew” (two balls, two strikes) “Paap fly” (pop fly) “OWWWT” (Out) “This Seeeeson”. (season) He never says “this year.” “It’s his jaab.” (It’s his job) “Jash Danaldson (Josh Donaldson)

Occasionally, Dan Shulman will call a few games. He was born in Toronto, but he has a U.S. accent also. Still, I like him more than I do Buck. I would like it much better if one day, they would hire a Canadian play-by-play guy. Oh, and an analyst side-kick for Jamie Campbell who isn’t an American also. Kevin Barker? Give me a break.

And one more thing: The U.S. beating Canada in the world curling championships! What? That isn’t allowed, is it?

Hope I didn’t ruin your weekend. I apologize for being a bitter old man who likes his sports with a Canadian flavour (not flavor).

Fred Trainor is a retired broadcaster (and former baseball play-by-play guy) living in Okanagan Falls. Email: fred-