Readers weigh in on sex-partners column

Readers responded to the question asked by “Moral Compass” — How many sexual partners are considered too many? (June 16):

Reader #1 — “On the subject of a person’s sexual history,even today we view men as being “the conquerors” and women being “the conquered.”

“Men are seen as those who go out to hunt for sexual conquests (sowing their wild oats) and women are the prize.

“The more sexual partners a man can claim, the more he’s seen as a great hunter.

“What does this say of women who are viewed as past conquests? In some cases, they’re seen as being easy or needy or lacking self-confidence.

“I personally know many men who have little regard for a woman they deemed as being easily conquered several times.

“We’re yet to arrive at a point where men and women are given the same leeway of having sexual desires which they can freely act upon. Or that both sexes can be hunters without shame.

“Meanwhile, neither the number of partners nor their sex, has any bearing on a person’s “moral compass.”

“Whether people are kind and compassionate to others says a lot more about them than their sexual past.

“We use all the wrong metrics when judging people onsuch criteria. See the person, not the number.”

Reader #2 — “As a male, I think 500 by age 25 is not only acceptable, but should be encouraged.

“But for females, any more than three by age 30 and she’s a slut. “Oh, and if you know any such females, please forward my contact information to them.”

DEAR ELLIE: I’ve been seeking reasons why my significant other’s adult child manipulates people into helping/buying into her victim role.

Granted, she had a tough childhood. It taught her how to “play” her Daddy. He drops everything, from miles away, to rescue her.

Yet her “problems” are often menial chores - like home improvement tasks. (It’s all she cares about).

With her child-of-alcoholic-mother syndrome, she’s devoid of emotions.

I try and feel sympathy, but I want her to reach out to me when I offer.

I want HIM to promote my existence by asking her to invite me in. But she won’t, and he won’t. This strange scenario living here is getting even more complicated. — Beyond Understanding ANSWER: You already know the background reasons for this father-daughter dynamic.

Now, talk to a therapist to learn how to be there without being dragged down by it.

Or, decide whether it’s already gone beyond your tolerance, and consider leaving. Email ellie@thestar.ca. Follow @ellieadvice.