Die laughing to live longer
As far as milestone birthdays go, 50 ranks right up there. “It’s like admitting you’ve made it halfway through your life. You’re on the dark side from here,” a friend told me.
Wow. Uplifting. Which is why, when my husband asked how I’d like to celebrate, I said with something light.
“Should we throw a party?” he asked.
“No, thank you,” I said, recalling my 29th birthday from hell. Ten days postpartum and still sporting a maternity dress, imagine my delight when I rounded the corner of our deck to find dozens of half-hammered family and friends. Surprise! “But your 40th was amazing!” He reminded me. Intent upon redeeming himself, my husband really knocked it out of the park for that one. It was a beautiful affair. Loved ones gathered to rejoice the official start to my middle age and I loved every minute of it. That event can’t be topped and I no longer have the energy to try.
“I’d love to go somewhere for the weekend,” I suggested. “How about Vegas?” Paul asked. Sin City with our newly-of-age kids? Perfect! Las Vegas is in Nevada and Nevada is in the desert, so if you go in the summer, be prepared to stay indoors, where it’s air-conditioned. It’s also nice and dark in those casinos, so if you’re nocturnal, you’ll love it.
If you enjoy the light of day, you can beat the 43-degree heat by parking yourself in the shallow end of the pool with a frosty cold one in hand. A big hat on your head is also a good idea.
For our evening entertainment, we killed ourselves laughing at the Marriage Can Be Murder dinner theatre. Held in the D (a slightly tired hotel on up-allnight Fremont Street), it was a hoot. We shared our table with four ladies with the best dang Dallas drawls ever. Their company was worth the price of admission.
If you go, remember you’re there for the entertainment. You’ll know what I mean when the server brings your starter: a pyramid of lettuce with one tomato wedge, followed by big gravy boats of bottled ranch dressing.
Before I could finish my packaged red velvet cake with Cool Whip topping, three people were dead. And it was up to us to figure out who murdered the host and our fellow diners — and why.
“What would you kill for?” the hilarious “Chips” cop in shiny shades and tiny shorts asked the audience. “And what kind of weapon would you use?”
One dude, nicknamed Boss Hogg, said, “Someone hurt my family or bring shame to them, I’d kill them.”
“What kind of weapon would you use?” Mr. Chips asked. “I prefer to use my hands,” Boss Hogg replied. Maybe we got a good crowd, but the audience participation made this show.
A newlywed named Katalia was poisoned at the dinner table next to us. Nudging everyone to contemplate clues, Mr. Chips asked, “What do we know about Katalia?” “She dead,” our Dallas dinner mate said. With such astute observations from our tipsy table, we didn’t win, but we did laugh. A lot.
And studies show that laughter makes you live longer. According to Psychology Today, laughter lowers blood pressure and blood glucose levels. It alleviates stress, reduces anxiety, dulls pain and contributes to personal connections. It even burns calories. So if you’re facing down a big birthday, lighten up. To conclude the weekend’s festivities, my husband arranged a limo ride to the airport. Marvin, our driver, reassured us he was a professional.
“Been here since 1972,” he said. “It’s all right, but the place was better back when the mobsters were in charge. You could get a steak dinner for $7.95.” He smacked his lips. He proved his worth when he drove his limo right up on the curb and strode us past everyone politely sweating in line, patiently waiting their turn for a photo at the Welcome to Las Vegas sign.
“You don’t wait when you’re with Marvin,” he said, much to the annoyance of the reincarnation of Elvis, who hoped we’d pay for a picture with him.
“Marvin’s not a professional photographer, I can tell you that,” my daughter later lamented, scrolling through the pics. Viva Las Vegas! Here’s to the next 50 years. Shannon Linden writes a blog, magazine articles and grocery lists. Visit her at shannonlinden.ca.