How to scam a scammer
Pro tip: If someone calls you claiming to be a CRA investigator, just hang up – but not until you’ve had some fun at his expense.
While police send out regular warnings about the telephone scam in which crooks pose as employees of the Canada Revenue Agency to try to get money out of unsuspecting victims, people continue to fall for it and the bad guys are undeterred.
My first encounter with them came this week. I missed the call from 226242-3842, but “CRA officer Lisa Brown” was kind enough to leave a message asking me to phone back, which I did.
A man answered, and after looking up the file for my alter-ego, Joe Freeze, he warned me I owed $4,556.23 in back taxes after a routine audit found I’d understated my income for the past seven years.
He warned that I was being charged with a variety of criminal and tax code offences, and that a warrant was being issued for my arrest at the Penticton courthouse, where I would be taken the next day to pay my back taxes.
“If you’re not able to pay that, we need to put you in jail for the next five years,” he said, adding later that my driver’s licence and passport would be seized and my bank accounts frozen.
Cutting right to the chase, I offered to pay up immediately. He then transferred me to another man, who, after apparently checking my criminal record and finding me to be of good character, agreed to tear up the warrant in exchange for the full $4,556.53. Here’s where it got really ridiculous. He said if I told anyone about the deal it would be taken off the table. He also said I couldn’t make the payment via bank transfer, credit card or cheque because someone might “misuse” my personal information. Instead, I had to buy a “bill payment voucher” from a nearby Canadian Tire, Petro-Canada or 7-Eleven and then send it to him. Having by that point wasted 20 minutes of the crooks’ time, I decided to turn the tables.
Joe Freeze: “Sir, may I ask you one quick question?” Fake CRA guy: “Sure.” Joe Freeze: “Why don’t you get a real job? Fake CRA guy: “F--k you, bastard.” He then hung up to the sound of me howling with laughter.
These scams are no laughing matter, though, because good, smart people do fall prey to them. Here are a few things to keep in mind to ensure you don’t become a victim.
According to the real Canada Revenue Agency, its staff will never use an aggressive tone or language, or threaten arrest on the phone, and they never ask for payment by pre-paid credit cards or other such means.
And if you can’t be sure whether the call is legitimate, end it right away and phone the real Canada Revenue Agency at 1-800-959-8281. You may wait on hold for an hour to speak to someone, but that should serve as further confirmation that you’re dealing with the real CRA.