Distinctions that matter

Distinction; noun: a difference or contrast between similar things or people.; synonyms: difference, contrast, dissimilarity, variance, variation;

To set your mind at ease this is not going to turn into a word study. But then again, maybe it is. Few words have recently captured my attention more than the word distinction. What has snared my thinking is not so much the concept as its application. I have a growing suspicion that my ability to make appropriate distinctions between things which appear similar is inadequate. Too often there is a tendency to accept or connect things which do not deserve to be connected.

Several examples come quickly to mind. The first is the struggle to distinguish between culture and character. The fact that something has become culturally acceptable does not mean it is of sound character. I bristle when I hear the phrase, “That’s just the way people are today,” as if that makes the behavior okay. Increasingly I find myself asking, “Is this behavior a matter of culture and preference or does it actually reveal a character flaw?” I recently extended an opportunity to a young professional who replied that he would let me know on Tuesday. Tuesday came and went. Several days later I contacted him again, no response. A week passed before I tried a third time, again with no reply. Venting to a co-worker about the experience the answer was given, “That’s just how his generation is.”

Really? Not keeping one’s word is not a generational issue nor one of culture. Keeping your word is, and always has been a matter of character.

A second distinction to note is the contrast between spirituality and self-interest. It sounds pious to boast of how God has answered one’s prayers and poured out rich blessing. How can answered prayer ever be wrong? The classic answer is that if your perceived answer to prayer comes at the expense of someone else, it may not be God at all. I moan inwardly (and occasionally outwardly) each time I hear a healthy, fit individual comment that they prayed for a parking spot and sure enough one opened up right in front of them allowing direct access to the hair salon or sports store. What they rarely consider is that the 84-year-old with arthritis who was right behind them missed the spot they took and had to walk two blocks to the adjacent medical clinic. This in no way suggests that truly spiritual people don’t take parking spots but it is to suggest that we need to give serious consideration to the distinction between things which are purely self-interest and those which are truly spiritual.

A final distinction currently on my agenda is the difference between giving and buying. As a young pastor I was taken to lunch one day by a vexed parishioner who proceeded to tell me that if we didn’t adjust something in the church he was going to withhold his giving. I am not sure where my answer came from but in the moment I had an inspiration and told him that unless I was mistaken he wasn’t giving now. He was adamant in his response that I should check the records. I said, “Oh, you might be putting money in the collection plate but the truth is you aren’t giving, you’re buying. You assume that putting money in the collection buys you the right to have things your way.”

The conversation got very interesting after that. Giving is always without attached strings.

Each of the above examples are only that, examples. The real purpose is to remind myself and you of the need to not blindly accept things as they appear on the surface. Sometimes making a distinction has deep benefit.

Jim Taylor is an Okanagan Centre author and freelance journalist. This column appears Saturdays.